Wednesday MLB picks

I deserve a nice round of applause for my comeback to the hardstick game. I came out blazin' with a 6-2 record and I think I'll keep the momentum going to try and pad our record a little more. First, let's clear a few things up. Baseball needs to get better. That's right, the entire sport. Yeah I have harped on it quite a few times (every column) but this time we are going to tackle this bitch. Speaking of tackling, that's the first thing that needs to happen. The MLB has eliminated home plate collisions due to concussions or injuries or some shit. This literally puts baseball on the same playing field as golf and voleyball when it comes to physical contact!!! The only time these dudes can come close to laying a fist on someone is when they are wearing a glove! This isn't a damn prostate exam! Gloves off, let's see some contact! So let's bring back home plate collisions and allow for players to block the basepaths with their bodies. Now that we have made baseball more exciting, let's get back into some picks.

DET (-110) at BAL(WINNER!)
VERLANDER! I think people have really cooled on JV, but the man was great just a couple years ago. There's no way he just "lost it" á la Dontrelle Willis. Take the big cats.

WAS (+1.5) at ARI (WINNER!)
The Natties are struggling, but not bad enough to lose the Rattlesnakes or whatever the fuck Arizona is. Go win this one for Bryce Baseball.


CHW at (OAK -180) (L)
This worked out for me the other night. Have you seen Moneyball? Yeah, how many Brad Pitt films about the White Sox have you seen recently? My point exactly.

TB at SEA (+1.5) (L)
OK asshole oddsmakers. Why are the shitty Tampa Rays favored over the Mariners at home?! People are starting to go to those games in Seattle, you can't just not pay attention anymore!

CLE at TOR (-120) (L
The Jays are severely underrated this year and I'd be looking at them for a title run right now. They should dispose of the Racist Mascot Team easily.

TEX (+1.5) at HOU (L)
I'm done. This makes no sense. I think I've been drugged because nothing makes sense anymore.