Sugar's NCAA Final Four Picks

Sugar’s “Bracket Bonerz” Final Four Picks

After filling out my first bracket I looked back and realized I rarely stepped away from the chalk.  Being that this is March Madness and upsets are going to be abundant, I went back and took another look. My Final Four picks might end up being nothing more than a bunch of fucking nonsense or they might end up winning me a billion dollars; I really don’t fuckin know.

 But here they are nevertheless:

South

University of Florida Gators

Florida is the team who’s got the whole country on their dick.  They’re athletic, they play with a good tempo, they guard well, and they have a good coach; what’s not to like? The Gators face Albany in the first round; giving them a game to get any early tournament jitters out of their system before the real games start.  Next up Florida faces a real tournament team: Pittsburg.  Pitt is going to struggle to put up points against a team that guards as well as Florida.  It will be a much closer game but, inevitably Florida will be too much for Pitt to handle.  In the Sweet Sixteen the Gators will take on UCLA.  Yes, UCLA just won the PAC 12.  However, we here at Dirty Picks think the PAC 12 was garbage this year; a league who’s history and reputation weighed heavily on Selection Sunday.  In the Final Four play-in game Florida will take on the Lobos of New Mexico. It’s an Elite Eight matchup and a lot will be on the line.  New Mexico will have beaten Kansas and Syracuse on their way to this game.  “Defense wins championships” is how the saying goes; Florida’s defense will be the difference maker here and send the Gators onto Arlington as the Champion of the South.

East

Michigan State University Spartans

The Spartans struggled through the second half of their season and a lot of people jumped off their bandwagon because of it.  If you don’t already know, I am not one of those people.  I have been all about Sparty since day one.  In the first round MSU takes on the Blue Hens of Delaware.  Delaware has three players averaging 18+ ppg.  That’s a lot of scoring against a lot of shitty teams.  Michigan State will slow the game down and control the boards; ultimately leading to a first round win.  For the round of 32 Sparty will face the nerds from Harvard.  Harvard will be pumped after an upset victory against Cinci.  State’s veteran leadership will take control though and carry them on to week 2.  Look for Gary Harris to go off for 30 in this one.  Next up, Michigan State takes on the number one seed in the East: Virginia.  Virginia likes to slow things down and take their time.  They’re going to struggle to get the shots they want against Izzo’s defense and when they miss, Payne and Dawson will be there to control the boards.  Michigan State rolls in a close, low scoring game.  In the Elite Eight MSU takes on Iowa State.  By far the toughest game for the Spartans thus far.  Iowa State is athletic and plays with a very fast tempo.  They average 82.9 ppg but are lacking on defense.  Izzo’s style is tough defensive teams; this year has the potential to be his toughest.  Led by Appling, Payne, and Dawson the Spartans will put together a great defensive effort with few turnovers and deliberate offensive play; sending them down to Arlington for the Final Four as Champions of the East.

Midwest

University of Louisville Cardinals

First of all: why the fuck is Louisville a 4 seed? Are you going to tell me that Louisville, UCLA, and San Diego State (all 4 seeds) are on the same level? No! You sure as shit ain’t gunna say that.  Someone will Bertuzzi the fuck out of you.  I get why Michigan State is a 4 seed; they sucked it up the second half of the season.  But the Cardinals deserve better (12-1 in their last 13) and are going to make all the teams in their bracket pay for it.  First round Louisville faces Manhattan.  Manhattan should be playing another 4 seed worthy team such as UCLA or San Diego.  They’re not though; they’re playing Louis-fuckin-ville; the defending national champions.  Pitino’s gang is going to roll through Manhattan like Pitino rolled through hookers back when he could still get it up. In the round of 32 the real tourney starts for the Cardinals as they take on NC State.  NC State had to play in to the tourney by defeating Xavier.  They’re going to beat an overrated Saint Louis team in the first round and have their dreams crushed mercilessly by Louisville in the 2^nd round.  The Cards are 12-1 in their last 13 and average 82.2 ppg while holding opponents to 61 ppg. The little things will make the difference and in the end Louisville will be too much for NC State to handle.  Next up, the Cards take on Kentucky in the Sweet Sixteen.  Kentucky will be turning heads and making people talk by the round of 16.  Nevertheless, the young guns in Kentucky will fall to the more experienced and disciplined team: Louisville.  The Elite Eight will feature two of the NCAA’s greatest programs: Louisville vs Duke.  The Blue Devils will come into this game having only been truly tested once; against Michigan.  The rest of their games they will win with little trouble.  Coach K.’s and Pitino’s squads will square off in an epic match up with a Final Four slot on the line.  In the end I think it comes down to the fact that Louisville is not a fucking 4 seed. There is a solid argument to be made for them having a ONE seed; if not a one then a two.  But instead, they’re a four; the same seed as UCLA and SDSU. After sending Duke packing, they will ride on down to Arlington as Champion of the Midwest. 

West

Oklahoma State University Cowboys

OK State is an interesting team.  They were steadily climbing the AP Top 25, reaching as high as 9^th in the nation, until February.  At which time, leading scorer Marcus Smart decided he had heard just about enough from those fat white guys down there in Texas and needed to teach a lesson.  Well his “lesson” earned him a 3 game suspension and by the end of it the Cowboys were all but out of the Top 25 completely.  It’s tourney time though, and playing “smart” is the name of the game for Smart. OKState takes on Gonzaga in the first round.  For how small of a school and where they are located you really have to give the Zags credit.  They always seem to be in the tourney and not just slipping in at the last minute, but solidly in the tourney.  There’s a thousand small universities (one of them located just off I5 in Lacey, Wa) who would kill for a chance at any of the 64 spots in the tournament.  Yet these god damn Gonzaga fans take it for granted year after year, and already have passed off this year as another early exit.  For real though, Smart and the Cowboys are going to be too much for the Zags and will roll to the 2^nd round.  In the round of 32 OKState will face Arizona.  Arizona fans are going to be devastated; I am sure they have very high hopes for this year’s team.  They kind of got cheated though; the Cowboys aren’t a 9 seed when they have future NBA star Marcus Smart on the floor.  So: sorry Zona, but it’s going to be an early exit this year.  But Hey! You still live in Arizona so what the fuck are you whining about?  Next up, the Cowboys face San Diego State University.  SDSU is one of those teams that could fuck up some brackets.  I think after taking down Gonzaga and Arizona, the Cowboys will be a team on a mission.  More importantly, I think Marcus Smart will be on a mission; perceiving that with each upset he makes happen, his draft stock will rise. Cowboys win a close one and advance.  Elite Eight time: Oklahoma vs Wisconsin.  Two, polar opposite, schools take the court with Final Four glory on the line.  Everyone says Wisconsin is full of guys that are “very coachable” and they play “disciplined”; what are you all afraid of? They’re white, just say it.  I look at this game and I see it as this: a big time game where big time players step up.  Wisconsin just does not have the big time players to make it happen. Elite Eight; national TV; Final Four on the line; that’s not a situation where I’m feeling the coachable, disciplined white boys.  That’s a situation where we look back and say “Damn Marcus Smart fuckin went off”.  Oklahoma State goes on to Arlington and everyone wants to blow Marcus Smart.

So that’s it. Florida, Michigan State, Louisville, and Oklahoma State.