MLB Wrasslemania Picks!

Wrestlemania > Baseball

It's the biggest day on the sports calendar post-Super Bowl!!!! WRESTLEMANIA 30 IS HERE! Baseball could only dream to have such tremendous athletes and raucous crowds! Instead, we're treated to 4 hours of seeing fat dudes spit, empty stadiums and no broken tables! So today, take a little break from the old stick ball (there's like 500 games left anyways) and watch as Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan, Triple H (or is it just HHH?) and Randy Orton beat the shit out of everyone en route to an infuriating finish.

Philadelphia (-120) at Chicago Cubs  (L)
The Cubs' starting pitchers name is Carlos Villanueva!!! If this is really Charlie Villanueva with a hat on, you can bet your ass that he is underpaid and underperforming! He'll also be a cancer to the team and the league as a whole as my guy KG would say.

Seattle Mariners (+1.5) at Oakland (L)
As WWE commentator JBL would say, "EVERYTHING'S ALL TOPSY TURVY MAGGLE!!" The Mariners, despite being the most dominant team of the last 30 years, are not favored against a talented, but lazy Oakland team. Take the M's and watch as they crumple under the pressure.

San Francisco at Los Angeles Dodgers (-150) (WINNER!)
IT'S ZACH GREINKE, MAGGLE!!! Ok, enough JBL, seriously though, Greinke is pitching. As aging, flabby, should've stuck to movies, wrestling star Batista would say, "Deal with it."