NBA Season Finale

The NBA regular season has finally reached it's conclusion and it has been a very entertaining season indeed. Kevin Durant finally (probably) took the title of MVP (better season, not better player) from Lebron, for the first time ever in the NBA the playoffs will not have the Knicks, Lakers, or Celtics, and the Spurs won 60+ games again. It's been an up and down gambling season for me especially as I could never quite get a consistent feel on the teams. In honor of that I decided to do things a little differently when choosing which team I wanted to back.

CHI (+1.5) at CHAR (L)
This pick is based on which city would be scarier to live in. CHI-Raq or Charlotte? Honestly this might be the easiest choice I make all day. Chicago has one of the highest murder rates of any city in the United States, while all Charlotte is known for is..well I have no idea what Charlotte is known for. Bulls win big.

IND at ORL (-4) (L)
This pick is based off of which team nickname I like better. The Pacers, or the Magic? I literally have no idea what a Pacer is. Does anybody? I'll give someone 20 bucks if they can tell me what exactly it is. On the other hand, we have the Magic! Magic! Who doesn't like Magic? Muggles maybe? But I'm certainly not a Muggle. Look for the team from Orlando to cast a few spells and throw some fireballs at the Pacers.

BK at CLE (-7) (WINNER!)
This pick is made purely off of which owner I dislike more. Is it the Russian playboy billionaire who spends money like it's going out of style, and doesn't actually go to the games because he's busy jet setting around the world banging beautiful supermodels? Or is it Dan Gilbert, the notorious man who many blame as the reason for Lebron leaving Cleveland and consistently does things in public that make me hate him more every day? Another very easy choice here, fuck Dan Gilbert he is easily the worst owner in pro sports, even below the anti-Christ himself James Dolan. Take the Cavs, because much like their owner, the Nets do not give a fuck about this game.

PHI (+5) at MIA (WINNER!)
This pick is based off which team has a more creative team name. The 76ers or the Heat? First up the team from Philly, a city with tremendous history and a nickname that reflects that. This nickname is creative, original and perfectly fits the city that bears it. On the other hand we have one of the least creative team names in sports. The Heat. We get it, Miami is a hot city both in culture and temperature, but come on the Heat? What about the Fire, or the Scorchers, or some other hot sounding nickname that is at least a little more intimidating. While it's not as gay as the Dolphins, it's certainly a poor team name. 76ers win big.

TOR at NY (+5.5) (WINNER!)
This one I legitimately put twenty slips of paper into a hat and then drew one and only one out as my pick. Lo and behold it was the motherfuckin New York Knicks. I hate this pick, if you are smart you will run the other way from this Knicks team that did win last night, but has been about as consistent this year as Oscar Pistorius's story during his murder trial right now. I'm taking the Knicks because of the hat, but go the other way!

DAL (+3.5) at MEM (WINNER!)
Since this is really the only game that will actually be competitive tonight, I decided to legitimately break this one down. The Grizz need to win this game so that they don't have to play the Spurs in round one. Seriously they would rather take their chances against the Thunder, than getting absolutely blitzkrieged by the Spurs in four games. With all that being said, I really do think that the Mavs are just the better team though. Look for the Dirkus Circus to carry his team to the seventh seed and a matchup with the Thunder in round one.

ATL (+3.5) at MIL (WINNER!)
This pick was made based off which mascot I think would win in a back alley street brawl in Atlanta! A hawk, or a buck. For those unfamiliar with the term a buck is a male deer who big ass sharp antlers. A hawk is a flying creature of death that rips animals to pieces with their razor sharp talons and supposedly is the modern day version of the prehistoric velociraptor. This is another easy pick as the buck may be able to fend off the hawk for a little bit, but eventually that winged hell demon is gonna rip it to pieces and have a feast. Hawks win!

UTA at MIN (-11) (L)
This pick was made off of which team has the better Caucasian players aka white boyz. On one side we have Kevin Love, Chase Budinger, and a few Europeans; while on the other we have Gordon Hayward and well that's basically it. Minnesota takes this purely off the volume of white guys on the team, though Hayward did put up a strong fight with his overall whiteness and solid basketball play. Don't watch this game, Wolves win.

HOU at NO under 210.5 (WINNER!)
This pick was made purely off of my hate for Austin Rivers. I was a huge Rivers supporter when he came out of high school and went to one of my favorite squads the Duke Blue Devils. After a quiet season at Duke his game absolutely did not translate to the NBA. It's only been a couple of years, but he looks like a bust and someone incapable of playing at the NBA level. Because this game has no meaning for either team, I expect a lot of Rivers and a lot of Rivers means not a lot of quality basketball. Take the under, watch the Pelicans struggle to break a hundred.

DET at OKC (-14) (L)
This pick is purely off which organization has a better small forward. Kevin Durant, the probable MVP or Josh Smith the three chuckin overpaid symbol of Joe Dumars recklessness as an owner? Durant might score 55 tonight because the Thunder actually need this game to secure the 2 seed, and Josh Smith might set the record for 3 point attempts tonight because he's J Smoove and that's what he does. Take the Thunder.

LAL (+9) at SA (WINNER!)
This pick doesn't really have any crazy reasoning behind it, the Spurs just don't care about this game and though they will be very Spurs like and still put up a good effort, it won't be the same Spurs team that will play on Sunday in round one. Look for the combo of Swaggy P and Jodie Meeks to shoot the Lakers to a victory in Texas.

WAS (-7.5) at BOS (WINNER!)
This one is based off which team has a more offensive NFL team name. The Patriots, or the Redskins? I mean come on, how is the Redskins allowed? That has to be the most offensive name not just in pro sports, but probably all of the world. I mean let's look at it from a different angle. If a team from Texas was named the Dallas Honkies wouldn't that be offensive?? How about the Philadelphia Chinamen? So why does Redskins get a pass? It literally makes no sense. I understand that it's been around forever, but that really doesn't mean anything. Take the Wizards here.

LAC at POR (-3)  (WINNER!)
This is a rest night for the Clips, take the Blazers.

PHO (-2.5) at SAC (WINNER!)
The Suns are sad they missed the playoffs and will look to finish the season on a positive note. Suns win big.

GS at DEN (-8.5)  (L)
Another off game for an NBA team, take the Nuggets.