NBA Playoff Picks

BJ's Pretentious Playoff Picks: NBA Style 

Well Catz was bas last night. He admitted it, and I am filling in once again. I'm just going to let you know right now, these playoffs are really weird and entirely unpredictable. That's not going to stop me from giving you a Sunday Surprise Creampie of winners to warm you back up to us here at DP. 

LAC (-2) at GSW (OVER 209.5) (L) (WINNER)
We've seen so many high scoring over time games this year that I am just automatically rolling the over at this point. The Clips are really pissed off at this point. They play for a member of the KKK and have had to fight off a squirrely ass Warriors team that won't go away. The one thing that is separating these teams is Blake Griffin. Blake Superior has been able to dominate these games and I think he will dominate this game in particular so that the Clips can close this series in LA in front of a home town cross burning. 

TOR at BK (-4) (UNDER 193) (L) (WINNER!)
You just can't count the old guys out! Did you guys know Paul Pierce can dunk?! The man has turned back the clock and the fact that his game (mid-range step backs, flat threes and a dash of low post flavor) ages very well has led to a Big PP resurgence! KG sucks, but he's still annoying as shit to play against and is liable to yell and scream to get everyone pumped, so there's that. In all honesty I want the Raptors to win this series, but watching Pierce, ISO Joe and a reinvented Deron Williams is kind of fun! This one plays to the Nets strengths as KG turns in his one good defensive performance of the year and holds the Raps to 33% shooting in the paint.  

HOU at POR (-2.5) (OVER 214) (WINNER!) (WINNER!)
These teams refuse to play defense. It's insane how little they care about an entire facet of the game! On one side you have the Rockets trying to funnel everything to Howard/Asik which doesn't work when guys are shooting threes or taking 15-20 footers. On the other side, the Blazers have "defensive talent" in Matthews and Batum, but honestly those guys aren't that great on D. This makes the over a no-brainer. As for the game, the Blazers let me completely down last game in front of their home crowd. This is why Seattle needs a team. You think Seattle fans are letting Princess Dwight's fragile mental and emotional stability win a game? Hell no! But these dumb ass hipsters in Portland, riding their bikes to the fuckin game with their passive aggressive chants and their "we don't want to be a big city" attitude didn't do shit! Which I guess is my fault or expecting those assholes to do ANYTHING at all, besides sit around and talk about horrible bands and how being vegan is totally not really a religion (except you Portland Vegan Assholes are like Jehova's Witnesses when it comes to spreading the word on retarded diets). GOD I HATE PORTLAND. Anyways, look for the Blazers to bounce back or get bounced out of the playoffs. That's right. If they lose tonight. It's OVER.