NBA Tuesday Slop

ORL @ PHI +5.5

Oh god this isn't a good pick. Philly is still really bad. They haven't reached 10 wins this season and it's about that time where the players just start giving up and eating whatever they want in their off time. The magic are trying to work in Brandon Jennings and Ersan Ilyasova to push for the eighth seed but can't seem to close out games that are tight at the end. Let's hope Ish Smiff and Oak Dawg out together another strong performance against the Magic tonight for a win. Oh and this line is just fishy. 

 SAC +1.5 at DEN 

The best reasoning I got out of Catz was "They just beat the nugs three days ago" which doesn't even give me a semi. The kings have the talent to win and Denver has been severely undercoached this year. Take the better team. 

HOU +4.5 at UTA

Oh God. Just take the points and don't look. Such a bad idea. But that's what the DP system is all about!!

BK at POR -11.5

Portland is on fire right now and Brooklyn had to travel across the country. I'm also guessing that they don't give a fuck about their season at this point. Dame should be able to take advantage of this situation and dominate. 

NBA Almost 2016 Picks

DEN @ POR -6

BJones back in the building! Catz and I have been so off lately and even though I could blame it all on him because he's technically writing all the picks, my input hasn't helped. Today is a new day! We're mixing things up by mostly taking points like we always do, and adding a couple favs for balance. Now I'm a big Portland fan and this offseason was somewhat of a disaster for Rip City. Nonetheless, the Blazers are still competitive night in and night out because of their back court. Lillard and McCollum may be too similar to build upon going forward, but for this season they provide PDX fans a fun scoring duo that makes games worth watching. Dame might be out tonight but that shouldn't be a problem seeing as the Nuggets may have the most talented roster that's underperforming in the NBA right now. 

BK @ ORL -7.5

I know we've said its time to stay away from Orlando, but it's just too difficult! The Magic are the hottest team in the East right now and Coach Bad Ass won't let them lose to a team as bad as the Nets! In fact, the hot streak basically started when the Magic shmurdered TD Nets earlier this month. I see a solid 10 point win as Orland pushes for the 2 seed. 

Catz

WAS +6.5 vs. TOR

Two middle of the pack eastern conference teams and the Wizards are getting 6.5 points!! I'll take that any day of the week! I guess the logic here is the Wizards are short handed right now missing three of their key players, but John Wall tends to show up when they play Toronto. Wizards injuries are leading to an extra three or four points on a line that shouldn't be any higher than TOR -3...take those extra points!!

CHA +3 vs. LAC

The Clippers have handled the absence of Blake Griffin surprisingly well, a lot of it coming from the bench making unexpected contributions. Tonight is the night where they really feel the loss of the all-star in the middle, who had a habit of destroying the Hornets. Charlotte wins this game easy in a battle of benches that ultimately goes to the Hornets!

PHI +9 vs. SAC

Finally the balliest pick of the day!! Sixers have been playing better of late, beating the Suns in Phoenix, followed by a near upset of the Jazz in Utah. Ish Smith has come in and taken control of the point, a position they desperately needed some veteran experience at. As an added bonus DeMarcus Cousins might not get to play this game after being ejected against the Warriors when he went berserk on the officials. Boogie needs to go to the Russell Westbrook school of I'm not yelling at ref's anymore ASAP. Sixers don't get the outright win, but it will be close.

NBA week 2

MIN -4 vs POR

Fuck these ain't your daddy's Wolves. Remember that super young team everyone expected to struggle early on? This ain't that team. These Wolves were galvanized by the sudden passion of Flip Saunders and have exceeded expectations here in the early going. Tonight is the home opener, expect heavy hearts and a heavy dose of Rubio/Towns pick and rolls as they obliterate the Blazers.

NYK +7.5 vs SAS

Proceed with caution on this pick. Yeah the Knicks have looked surprisingly good this season, but they have mostly played shitty teams in the east, not the only franchise that could legit be considered a dynasty. Do I think Melo and his cast of role players have a chance in this game? Definitely. Do I think it's likely that Pop gets outcoached by D Fish? No..Oh well, take the points.

HOU +4.5 vs OKC

Houston is 0-3 on the season after collapsing against the Heat in Miami yesterday afternoon. While I don't expect this team to compete for a title at the end of the season; I do actually think they will win a game. Good bet to keep taking their points until they do actually win, even against a team like OKC.

NBA Friday

On the season: 5-4. Last night: 2-1

MIA +5.5 at CLE

It's Mr. Nutz here filling in for Catz as he gets pounded out like a mallard duck at work. This is a marquee matchup between the two best teams in the East. While the Heat feature some incredible depth to supplement their two All Star talents, the Cavs bring the best player on Planet Earf and Kevin Love to the party.  This is an easy pick. The Cavs can beat the shit out of all the below average Eastern conference teams and look like the Show Time Lakers, but against good teams, they need their big three. With Kyrie out (Shumpert too) this team will have to play LeBron and love 40mpg against good teams. The Heat have too much talent, depth and coaching to lose this one. And Amare is back!!

OKC at ORL (+8)

This line is borderline offensive!! Almost as offensive as the OKC bench!!! Anyways, the Magic are my favorite young team in the league. After spending a year with Never to Coach Again Jacque Vaughn, the Magic have finally found a semi competent coach. Scott Skiles has shown early that he wants his team to be gritty, fast and DAWG opposing guards completely out!  I love the fact that he can throw Elfrid, Oladipo and Aaron Gordon on Westbrook while still having the option of sticking Tobias Harris on Durant. Vucevic is a guaranteed double double and we haven't even started talking about super Mario!! Remember Ja Rule back in the day? He'd always yell "Muuuurrrrrdaaaa." Well that's all I hear when future sixth man of the year Mario HEZZZOONNJJJJAAA is draining threes all over Durants weak ass tonight!!!................HEZZZOONNNJJJJAAA

UTA at PHI +7.5

I'm a fan of the Jazz and what they've built over the last few years. They've made smart picks, invested time in Favors and have been pretty patient with the whole process. Philly, on the other hand, is terrible. They've been patient, yes, but they don't seem to have an actual plan. Their best draft pick thus far has been Jahlil Okafor who opened his NBA career with a dominant 26 point performance. Though Nerlens Noel was a solid get, he's not exactly a game changer and don't get me started on their lack of guards. With that being said, I think Utah is getting too much respect this year. They need to prove that they can be a playoff team in the next two months. Philly has nothing to lose and I think Okafor and Noel can give opposing defenses a lot of trouble (Noel put up 14/12/3 the other night). It may be the old school way, but I think philly keeps this one close. 

POR +4.5 at PHX

Well this is the Catz special. I'm a Blazers fan and he's a Suns homer so it's going to be rough year for both of us. In the end it's just about taking the points here and hoping you get lucky. 

NBA and NHL Tuesday Night

2014-15 NBA Record: 20-15

Mr. Nutz:

OKC @ MIL (-3)

I'm sorry if I'm beating a dead centaur here, but I hate the Oklahoma City Thunder. Especially when they don't have the leagues most valuable player with no real position, Russell Westbrook. The Thunder are relying on Reggie Jackson, HEAVILY, along with Sebastian Telfair and Serge Ibaka. I don't care, just take the points every night from here on out. The Bucks have a Greek Freak who coach Jason Kidd told to be "more aggressive" after he put up a career high 18 points last week. Let's not forget, Jabari Parker is due for a 35 point game and I think tonight is the night. After Larry Sanders knocks Serge Ibaka out with a bottle of Ciroc, I think this one will be over for the Thunder. 

CHA @ POR (-7.5)

I have been all aboard the "bet on Portland to win/cover at home" train for a while now and it is paying off. The Blazers feed off of their hipster, microbrew sipping, passive-agressive fans and have a very deep, talented roster. With two legit stars and a supporting cast that can hang with some starting fives in the league, the Blazers have been criminally underrated for a while now. Tonight they take on the Hornets, which is the team that has Kemba and Lance (Right....? Let me check.....Yep). The Hornets just dropped a terrible one to the Lakers on Sunday and I don't think they're ready for this West Coast swing. Nic Batum should have a very steady game tonight to compensate for the 35-19 Al Jefferson will be putting up. Keep riding the Blaze train!

SAS @ GS (-7.5) 

How easy is it to say, "The Spurs are getting SEVEN points?!!! Sign em up! Cash it!" tonight? Very, very easy. So easy, in fact, that I absolutely refuse to do it. I love the Spurs and was super pumped that they won the title last year, but they are not into full season swing right now. As a lot of people have done before, I compare them to the New England Patriots. They take a few weeks to figure things out, people start freaking out and BAM, they flip the switch and dominate the regular season. They aren't there yet and Pop is damn sure not going to send his guys out there to ball out in an early November game on a back-to-back. Some guys will be sitting, or there will be very limited minutes. The Warriors have been awesome this year and I expect them to kill it tonight.

Catz:

ORL (+10.5) vs. Toronto

This was a last second flip-flop that my editor is probably going to get pretty upset about. I just had to admit to both myself and to the loyal readers of Dirty Picks that I am not sold on the Raptors quite yet. I think they have totally over-achieved thus far and are due to come back towards the pack eventually. Well, eventually starts tonight. The Magic are not a good team, I repeat, the Magic are not even a decent team. They are probably one of the worst three teams in the league, playing on the road. This pick makes no sense, that's why you have to roll it!! Sit on the edge of your seat as Aaron Gordon jacks up awkward looking jumpers from the elbow, clanging enough bricks to build a house three little piggies could live in! This is a ballsy pick that if you are smart you may want to throw in a teaser with the Memphis game to ensure a cover.

LAL vs. MEM (-10)

GRINDHOUSE!!! This is my crush team of the season so far, even surpassing my hometown PHX Suns. I love the way they muck up the paint and force teams to do things that they are not comfortable doing. If they can get even a decent amount of scoring from their role players, they are going to be more than okay. This Lakers team on the other side? They suck. They got lucky last night playing against a terrible road team and were barely able to squeeze a win out of that. Tonight? Not so lucky, this one is going to be a defensive clinic as the Grizz force the Lakers into shooting an astonishing 25% from the floor!!

SAC (+6.5) vs. Dallas

The Kings so far this season have not fucked me. That's huge. I am going to keep riding them until they fuck me, much like the strategy I had with the Cavs until they busted that wide open last night. But, the Kings have done enough to retain my trust for now, and I will keep riding them until they screw me.

Sugar's Super Sweet Hockey Lockz

Minnesota (-125) @ New Jersey

New Jersey is having problems finishing games right now.  They have held leads in both of their last 2 games and lost.  My fellow writer BJ AKA Mr. Nutz would like you to believe that 'Sota is the real deal this year.  While I'm hesitant to acknowledge that, largely because they compete in the West, I do think they are superior to almost every Eastern Conference team.  Minnesota on the road.

Colorado @ NY Islanders (-140)

I never bought into the little fling of the islanders being some elite level team.  This isn't the MLB; teams don't go from garbage to elite over a summer.  Except Colorado last year which was all a big misunderstanding. (See current NHL standings). I think the Isles are solid at home though. Watch for Tavares to snip one bar south.

Pittsburgh @ NY Rangers 

OVER 5.5 (EVEN)

This games got OVER graffiti'd all over it.  The Cros show vs Rick Nash and Company? Please. It's free money.  Watch for Malkin to bury, Crosby to have probably 3 assists and a goal while Rick Nash scores 2 or 3 or 4.

Columbus @ Washington (-200)

Honestly I feel bad for the Jackets.  They're suffering from an injury problem that I really haven't seen before in the NHL. Oh wait just kidding yes I have, last year. The Detroit Red Wings went through the same if not worse injury problems and still made playoffs.  Figure it the fuck out Columbus. Stop sucking.  Most likely they won't read the DP blog before their game tonight (their mistake), won't get that message and will still play like a junior team tonight.  Caps roll at home in a much needed confidence booster.

Winnipeg @ Montreal 

UNDER 5 (EVEN)

I don't really know what this Jets' team is all about. They started off horrible then randomly went off a 6 game win streak and took down some of the best teams in the league.  The common theme with their games though is they hold the other team to 1 or 0 goals.  With Montreal struggling to puck the biscuit in the basket I think the under is solid here.

San Jose (-155) @ Florida

Do I really need to sell you on this pick?

Edmonton @ Nashville (-190)

Nashville is solid.  They're veteran led with a good group of young guns.  Edmonton is Edmonton. I think the Preds roll at home. Watch for Mike Fish(er) to bury one and point to his celeb wife, Carrie Underwood, in the crowd.

Dallas (-120) @ Arizona

Dallas is good. Arizona isn't. That's really all there is.

NBA Round 2 Winners

When Catz and I rolled these picks out this morning, we realized that we picked two teams down 0-2 against two teams that were in the finals last year. Bad Choice. So instead, we're bringing back the old Dirty Picks Tongue Tornado Teaser!!! That's right, 4 picks, all teased to make you spend money on a horrible bet that won't net you a ton of money! It's one of those "How can this go wrong?! It can't!" moments here at Dirty Picks and I hope you decide to roll it and suffer as these games all take terrible turns for the worst. 

SA at POR (+11.5) (OVER 199) (L) (WINNER!)
You know what they say, when you are on top you can afford to take a couple of chances. That's why the Seahawks can take players in the draft that no one has ever heard of, that become legitimate NFL players. Success increases your ability to take risks. I think this is the last hurrah for the Blazers, this is a terrible matchup for them and the Spurs have been wrecking their shit hole in these first two games. But tonight I think the Blazers feed off the energy of the undoubtedly stoned fan base and pull of the miracle win, only to lose the next two after this. It's been fun though Portland! Also both teams can score, 199 is way too low not to go over.


MIA at BK (+12) (OVER 178) (WINNERx2!)
Well there's not much to say here. I am in no way, shape or form going to all of a sudden pick against the Nets as they head home with their assholes against the wall! These teams payed 4 very close games this regular season, 3 of which were decided by 2 points or less and one which went into OT. I expect the Nets to use their Russian Magic to come up with a win tonight, but I'm too scared to take the money line. Are the Heat really going to win 8 playoff games in a row?! Is that what we're saying!? Well, that's not exactly a crazy feat seeing as they have gone 5-1 or better through their first 6 playoff games since the Heatles came together. Come on, roll with me on this one and watch as Paul Pierce does some crazy shit he shouldn't still be able to do. Oh and Deron Williams, you are quickly turning into Roy Hibbert: Point Guard Edition. Stop being so fat and fucking worthless that a guy that almost had his leg amputated has to play all your minutes! You were once compared to Chris Paul and one of the 8 most valuable players in the NBA! Get your shit together before KG starts eyeballing your wife, and at this point you should let him! Maybe it will inject some life into his decrepit body or at least make him realize he needs to retire mid-series! When Alan Anderson is more productive than you, it's time to hang it up Kevin Garnett. Now that I've said all that, make sure you take the Heat and the over, as someone may go off tonight.  

NBA Playoffs Round Two

POR at SA (-6) (OVER 205.5) (WINNER!) (WINNER!)
You know who doesn't drop games at home in the playoffs? The Spurs. I really like the Blazers, and if they blow the Spurs out I will be completely okay taking this loss. However have you watched SA play lately? Especially in that game seven?? Their offense is disgusting, they consistently get good shots and Tony Parker punishes his defender like it was Brent Barry's wife. You know who isn't very good at defense? The Blazers. The only reason they made it past round one is because they found a team that plays less defense than they do! Don't be surprised if this series is a sweep. Spurs win by twenty and this one goes over.

BK (+8) at MIA  (UNDER 193) (L) (P)

Never doubt Brooklyn. Catz and I did most of the year and it killed our record. The Nets have the players, experience and play style to control this series.  The Nets force the Heat to play slow and have enough depth to frustrate Miami. The reality is, 8 points is way too much at this stage of the playoffs. Brooklyn will control this game and Joe Johnson is going to have a big time series. Take the Nets and enjoy it. 

NBA Playoff Picks

BJ and Catz's NBA Elimination Friday Picks

The first round is finally coming to a close, and for basketball fans, it's a bittersweet feeling. The first round of these NBA playoffs has been one of the most exciting, if not the most exciting we have have ever seen. Hell, even the Bobcats had a fun series with the Heat! The collapse of the Pacers, the young Raptors vs the Old Nets, every Western Conference team being good; these are all story lines worth watching, with even more watchable games. Today has the chance to add to the drama with a couple teams on the ropes. Let's get back into some picks with a Créme Fraîche Friday:

TOR at BK (-4.5) (UNDER 192) (WINNER!, WINNER!)

This is kind of the safe/cheap bet for this series. When in doubt, take the old, experienced team and the under. This Nets teams is built specifically for the playoffs and while the Raps have talent and a catchy playoff slogan, they won't be knocking out Paul Pierce, Joey "Iceballz" Johnson and Kevin Garnett  Andray Blatche at home. Take the Nets and lets hope the fatigue of the series and Brooklyn's some times horrible offense kills any big runs this game.   

SA (-160) at DAL (OVER 197.5) (L) (WINNER!)

This one will go into OT! So there is your over, as far as the game itself, 3 points is too much, especially when Dirk and Carlisle are facing elimination at home. That's the thing, you would typically say, no way in hell are the Mavs going out like this! But the Spurs don't play by our rules, they do whatever the fuck they want! So expect Duncan to have 20-10, Parker to have 25 and Ginobli to go on a run by himself to dagger the Mavs. 

HOU at POR (-115) (OVER 213) (WINNER!) (L)

Have the Rockets figured out how to stop LaMarcus Aldridge? Possibly, but I think the fatigue from those first 4 games has really caught up with Catz's favorite Pacific Northwest Product, LMFAO. The Rockets are able to throw a combination of Asik, Jones and Howard at the über consistent big man and it is finally working. The Rockets probably win this one, but the Blazers have been doubted before and I won't be doing it this time. Take the Blazers and watch everyone else as they are shocked when the final seconds tick off a probable double OT game. 

NBA Playoff Picks

BJ's Pretentious Playoff Picks: NBA Style 

Well Catz was bas last night. He admitted it, and I am filling in once again. I'm just going to let you know right now, these playoffs are really weird and entirely unpredictable. That's not going to stop me from giving you a Sunday Surprise Creampie of winners to warm you back up to us here at DP. 

LAC (-2) at GSW (OVER 209.5) (L) (WINNER)
We've seen so many high scoring over time games this year that I am just automatically rolling the over at this point. The Clips are really pissed off at this point. They play for a member of the KKK and have had to fight off a squirrely ass Warriors team that won't go away. The one thing that is separating these teams is Blake Griffin. Blake Superior has been able to dominate these games and I think he will dominate this game in particular so that the Clips can close this series in LA in front of a home town cross burning. 

TOR at BK (-4) (UNDER 193) (L) (WINNER!)
You just can't count the old guys out! Did you guys know Paul Pierce can dunk?! The man has turned back the clock and the fact that his game (mid-range step backs, flat threes and a dash of low post flavor) ages very well has led to a Big PP resurgence! KG sucks, but he's still annoying as shit to play against and is liable to yell and scream to get everyone pumped, so there's that. In all honesty I want the Raptors to win this series, but watching Pierce, ISO Joe and a reinvented Deron Williams is kind of fun! This one plays to the Nets strengths as KG turns in his one good defensive performance of the year and holds the Raps to 33% shooting in the paint.  

HOU at POR (-2.5) (OVER 214) (WINNER!) (WINNER!)
These teams refuse to play defense. It's insane how little they care about an entire facet of the game! On one side you have the Rockets trying to funnel everything to Howard/Asik which doesn't work when guys are shooting threes or taking 15-20 footers. On the other side, the Blazers have "defensive talent" in Matthews and Batum, but honestly those guys aren't that great on D. This makes the over a no-brainer. As for the game, the Blazers let me completely down last game in front of their home crowd. This is why Seattle needs a team. You think Seattle fans are letting Princess Dwight's fragile mental and emotional stability win a game? Hell no! But these dumb ass hipsters in Portland, riding their bikes to the fuckin game with their passive aggressive chants and their "we don't want to be a big city" attitude didn't do shit! Which I guess is my fault or expecting those assholes to do ANYTHING at all, besides sit around and talk about horrible bands and how being vegan is totally not really a religion (except you Portland Vegan Assholes are like Jehova's Witnesses when it comes to spreading the word on retarded diets). GOD I HATE PORTLAND. Anyways, look for the Blazers to bounce back or get bounced out of the playoffs. That's right. If they lose tonight. It's OVER.

NBA Playoff Picks

NBA Rebound Picks 

CHAR at Miami (-10) (OVER 187.5) (L) (WINNER!)

The Heat are going to make sure they win this one at home and let's not forget, Al Jefferson is battling a foot injury that is going to slow him down a bit. Look for LeBron to get his teammates going early to boost their confidence as Miami blows the Cats out, unfortunately, 106-88.

DAL (+8) at SA (OVER 200.5) (WINNER!)(WINNER!)

After Catz and I talked about this one, we think that Duncan's slight knee injury may slow down the Spurs machine just enough for the Mavs to hang around. Let's not forget, the Mavs hung around all game in the opener and Dirk and Carlisle aren't going to be blown out in a playoff game. High scoring, fun and close game today.

POR (+7) at HOU  (OVER 214.5) (WINNER!) (WINNER!)

Again, Catz and I talked through this one and we felt that, with exception to the Spurs, no Western Conference teams are 7 points apart. Portland is underrated and the Rockets really struggle with LaMarcus Aldridge down low. If Dwight is unhealthy, the Blazers are going to take this thing to 7. Look for a high scoring game with the Rockets winning late.