NFL Draft Prop Preview
Even the most degenerate of gamblers wouldn't dare place a bet on the NFL draft right?? It's more of a crapshoot than pro wrassling for god sakes (some would even argue its just as fixed...), but luckily for the readers of Dirty Picks, B Catz likes to live life a little dangerously. So when I started to do some research, I was startled by the results; there were no actual props to bet on! So instead of blowing it off and shooting my editor a text that just said "hey remember that article idea? Fuck it, no go", I made up my own props!! (EDITOR'S NOTE: Actual props are up and a full slate should be available by Monday on most sites)
WHO GOES NUMBER ONE???
Obvious favorite pick here. You are gonna hear all kinds of rumbling about the background and the future criminal record he is going to have, but don't let all that smoke cloud your opinion here. Jameis is a franchise QB and teams always reach to take a franchise QB no matter what the baggage. Personally I think Winston is going to make a solid pro, but I also predicted last season Johnny Football was basically the second coming of Brett Favre (at least with the booze right??).
Mariota (+500)
Peter King said earlier this week on Mike and Mike that the Jets want to move up to number one and take the former Oregon QB!! As a Jets fan, I do not support this move for the team because it means giving up everything we have for a QB who may not end up being very good in the NFL. Of course with our draft history maybe we should trade away all of our picks for the next few years. So is it likely? Not really, but if it happens you could be swimming in gold dubloons by Sunday!!
The Field (+1300)
Not gonna happen. Doesn't matter if Winston assaults twelve midgets and steals half of the crabs in the sea before the draft, he's still likely gonna go first. If for some crazy reason he does not, Mariota certainly will. Don't waste your hypothetical money on this made up prop bet that you can't actually bet on...
WHO DRAFTS NUMBER ONE???
So we've established Winston is going one right? But who's gonna be the lucky squad to throw a jersey on him and trot him out to training camp?
BUCS (-500)
Obvious pick, pretty safe odds that they end up making this pick. The Bucs are horrible, and a decent QB could go a long way with rising superstar Mike Evans in the mix. Basically a 99.5% chance they end up making this pick and hanging up on all of the other offers.
FIELD (+2000)
If I'm the bucs GM, I'm hanging up on anyone not offering more than six picks. Sometimes NFL teams are stupid enough to trade multiple high round picks in order to select a QB who could end up being the face of the franchise (although unlikely), but I don't think that happens this year. The Bucks are too damn bad not to take a flyer on one of these guys.
WILL TODD GURLEY GO TOP TEN??
YES (+300)
Teams are scared as fuck right now to draft a running back in the first round, and everyone will say its because the league is changing to a pass happy, short screen type game. But the real reason nobody wants to draft a RB first round? Trent Richardson. He busted so damn hard, I thought Peter North came out of retirement!! He then somehow suckered the Colts into giving up a first round pick for him, where he continued to shoot off money-shots on the Indy front office.
NO (-150)
Remember that Trent Richardson guy I was talking about? Yeah, that's a real concern. He sucked so bad that literally half of the teams in this draft are going to pass on Gurley, just because of Trent. Really kind of messed up when you think about it, Gurley could be an absolute savage and make teams regret passing on him just like Adrian Peterson did when he entered the league. Smart prop bet here, Gurley drops to the 12-15 range and someone gets a steal.
WHAT WILL THE JETS DO WITH NUMBER 6 OVERALL?
TAKE A DE, DL, OLB (-250)
Jets need pass rushing in the worst way. They haven't taken a top pass rusher since 2006 when they selected the notorious Vernon Gholston and he went on to secure his bust on the Mount Rushmore hall of really shitty NFL players. The dude never even got a sack in the NFL!!! NOT ONE!!! Fuckin prick...but the Jets have to take someone who can get to the QB, especially while TB12 still takes snaps in Foxboro. Also if Todd Mcshay is correct and Leonard Williams falls to number 6, don't be surprised if the Jets trade this pick, Williams is far too talented not too be over coveted by a team in the 7-21 range.
TAKE AN OFFENSIVE SKILL PLAYER (+150)
The Jets improved their offensive players this offseason, but they are by no means the Greatest Show on Turf. Hell they are barely average on normal grass! All jokes aside, we need more weapons. I won't be surprised if Cooper, White, or even Gurley get selected, especially if the two QB's are off the board as expected.
TRADE BACK AND STOCKPILE (+300)
By far the smartest choice of the three, and also the most unlikely to happen. You never want the Jets fans to go crazy (they will either way) when they announce a trade, but new GM Mikey Mac has earned enough good will over his first couple of months that even the die hardest of Jets fanz will let this one slide. So go ahead Mike, we have tons of holes and this draft could be pretty deep in the middle and later rounds. Not likely to happen, but could be worth a decent payout if it does.
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