NBA PICK TUEZDAY

CHI @ MIA -5.5

Are there two more disappointing teams in the NBA? Chicago fell apart after letting a top 5 coach go and Miami never found a way to make an all star point guard mesh with the rest of regime roster. Oh and their best player is out due to a crazy health circumstance. Either way, both these teams could be competing with an under whelming cavs team and instead they've been relegated to the "Atlanta Hawks" zone where you make it to the playoffs but no one really cares. Take the Heat tonight as they are at least trying to throw something together at the end of the year and are a little less banged up. 

POR -5 @ NYK

So last week I told my ol buddy Catz "make sure we bet against Portland until the end of the season." The reason being PDX has been ripping off wins left and right but was headed into a 7 game East coast road swing followed by some tough western conference opponents, including OKC and GS. Well I've changed my mind. If Portland was in the east they might be the 2 seed! So why wouldn't they beat a fledgling New York team featuring their second coach involved in a sex scandal and a "I'm only here for the paycheck" Carmelo?! Dame Lillard may be the next guard to have a classic MSG game and score 60 tonight. 

ORL +5.5 at DAL

This may be a bad pick. Just throwin it out there. I think this should be Dallas -7 or -7.5 but I'll take the 5.5 with the Magic tonight. Orlando has not played well for a few months now but they have some new pieces in Ilyasova and B Jennings that add a little more depth and scoring to an otherwise bland offense. Both squads have great records against the spread so just hope that Orlando shows up tonight and that the Mavs rest guys. 

Wednesday NBA Picks

CHI +3.5 @ BOS

Though the Bulls are in the middle of a meltdown, I see no reason why the Celtics should be favored here. Sure IT is going off as of late and the Celtics have seemingly gelled over the last week, but they're still a very average team. The Bulls ongoing identity crisis coupled with whatever Fred Hoiberg is doing has definitely slowed them down, but this is still a top 3 team in the East talent wise. Tonight Jimmy Butler will put the team on his back a la Greg Jennings and give the Bulls a much needed W. 

MIA (EVEN) @ CHA

Well Al Jefferson has finally been caught. After somehow losing about 200lbs yet remaining at a D cup, Big Al has been popped for something PED/drug related. The Hornets have certainly carved out some sort of identity, but this is not the setback you want right as one of the Conferwnce's too teams rolls into town. With Luol Deng possibly returning to the lineup, the Heat will have too much firepower for then Hornets and pick up an easy W to keep pressure on the Cavs.

HOU +4 @ WAS

I know people feel burned by the Rockets, but you can't honestly believe this team will remain out of the playoff picture out West. Head Coach JB Bickerstaff made the move that Kevin McHale should have and benched Ty Lawson in favor of Patrick Beverly. Turns out what worked for the Rockets LAST  YEAR still works!!! I know this league, especially in the West, is about improving but come on Houston! Stick to the formula! Anyways, the Wiz still haven't figured out that they need to fire their coach. Add to that a banged up John Wall vs Patrick Beverly (who is known to accidentally injure other point guards) and you've got an easy win for the Rocks!

MEM +4 @ DET

We love Detroit here at Dirty Picks, but they are getting too much respect as of late. The Pistons have been wildly inconsistent (Reggie Jackson...) and may just need another piece to stabilize things. Memphis has been better lately and the Conley/Gasol duo is really starting to click. Memphis all day. 

ORL +4.5 at PHX

I had to write the picks today because Catz has been getting ready to go the Suns' game for the last 5 hours. When I told him I was going Magic, he shit all over my picks like he has just polished off the E. coli special at the local Chipotle! I can assure you loyal DPers that the Magic will be just fine tonight. Their perimeter defense is on point and with one of the Morris twins spreading locker room cancer feces all over Phoenix, Orlando has a good shot to win outright. 

NYK +3 @ UTA

The Catz daily special. He mentioned this morning that Utah hasn't looked impressive with Gobert out of the lineup and that means big things for King Kristaps. Look for the Latvian Lizard Lord to destroy the offensive boards tonight. Knicks cover. 

NBA Money Picks

IND +6 vs CHI

Sleep on this Pacers squad at your own risk. Paul George has been playing like an all star for the past few weeks, and he's covering up the poor play from his running mate Monta Ellis who hasn't quite found his groove in Indy. Meanwhile the Bulls are deep and still find a way to win games, but they aren't the powerhouse Bulls of the last few years. They should trade Rose and hand the keys to Jimmy Butler, but until then they are just another ship without a rudder for all you nautical fans out there.

BOS +4.5 vs HOU

I read an article this morning about how the Rockets have bonded over FIFA 16 in their down time. Well, maybe Kevin Mchale should lock away the PS4s for a little bit and these dudes should get back to focusing on basketball, because this season has not gone well. They've lost to Denver twice, Dallas, and the Brooklyn Freakin Nets!! None of which are as good defensively as the Celtics. Of course there is always a chance the Rockets could get red hot and shoot the lights out, but I'll grab the points here.

LAL +11.5 vs PHX

Well, it's official. Kobe has become the Peyton  Manning of the NBA. Decided to come back for one too many years and now having him out there is a detriment to the team, not a positive. Luckily for the Lakers tonight, Kobe is sitting out another game on his farewell tour. When he doesn't play, the Lake show gets up and down the court and has some real talent. Meanwhile Phoenix is good, but they aren't 11.5 good

Monday Macho Madness!

POR (+2.5) @ WAS
Catz does not like this line and that's fair. Portland is certainly a good team, but good enough to beat a Washington that has started to come together after collapsing post All-Star Break? I'm not too sure myself, but when these situations arise, I look at two things: 1) Conference: The Blazers are 24-14 against the West this year on their way to 44 total wins thus far. That is impressive considering the injuries to the PDX roster. 2) Point Discrepancy: Not a very telling stat anymore with all the analytics out there, but still useful. The Blazers are +5 points while the Wizards are barely hanging in there at +1.4. The Wiz have a knack for playing and winning close games, so this one should be a close, playoff environment type of game.

TOR (+5.5) @ IND
This is probably a trap game. I've been all over Toronto since last year, but this year, eh. They have cooled recently and when you take a look at their numbers, something just ain't right. The Raptors are a pitiful 15-20 against teams with a record above .500. 8 teams in the West top that record. Indiana is in the same boat, but they also weren't expected to win shit this year. Either way, 5.5 is too much for Toronto and I think something wonky is going on with Roy Hibbert. ROLL IT!


ATL @ SAC (+5)
This makes me more uncomfortable than leaving my girlfriend in a room with Bill Cosby! Sac Town was BLOWN THE FUCK OUT by Atlanta last week, but Catz brought up a good point. Atlanta is going to be playing Golden State tomorrow or some shit, so they basically don't care about this game. Roll the big Sac!

CHA (+5) vs. UTAH

I know the Jazz have recently become the Seahawks of the NBA with a whole slew of "Johnny come lately" fanz showing up right when the team gets hot and all of a sudden everyone has been down with Rudy Gobert from the beginning. But your boy B Catz isn't quite ready to drink the Jazz kool aid quite yet, especially with the return of Kemba giving the Hornets a boost when they were already playing well. 5 points is way too many points in this one and the Jazz are due for a letdown after their recent hot streak. HORNETZ ALL DAY!

LAL (+18) vs. GSW

This is easily the highest line I've personally seen all year. Based on that principle alone I have to roll it, HAVE TO!! Sure the Lakers are probably going to get smoked out by a Warriors team that's rested and hungry, but they also play Atlanta tomorrow night, so I am expecting them to look past the Lakers just enough to let this line cover. 12 point Warriors win.

OKC (+5.5) vs. DAL

Don't care if they are playing the Monstars or the Globetrotters anytime Rustle, Hustle, and Man-Muscle Wesbtrook (thanks Simmons and Cousin Sal) is getting points, I have to take it. Westy has been a triple double machine as of late, and while KD is expected to miss another week or so, there is no reason to expect his production to slip. Plus if his fuckin teammates could actually hit shots he would have easily had a triple double last game. Thunder not only cover, they win this game outright.

NBA Picks

BOS vs. NYK (-1)

HOLD ON. HOLD ON. Before you start replacing Pete Carroll's face with Catz's's's's on all these memes going around for picking the Knicks here, let me present my case. The Knicks are decent again!! Not great, hell not even good, but decent!!! And if you watched the Knicks play recently you know why. They actually have players who play basketball like it is a team sport, instead of earlier this season where the team offensive strategy was jab and jack and the defensive strategy was nonexistent. Knicks are going to win this game big!!! Trust me.

DEN (-7.5) at PHI 

Just bet against the Sixers for the rest of the season! MCW might be out tonight, and if he's not, he's hobbled. You don't want to be hobbled against Ty Lawson, especially when your back up is probably a guy that was playing "skreetball" about a week ago. The Nuggets were supposed to be turning a corner but I'm pretty sure they STILL suck because they  have a terrible coach, but let's remember, they're playing one of the worst teams ever. So go ahead and roll this, but don't want. 

MIA @ DET (-3.5)

We here at Dirty picks have been all over Pis-town since preseason and that did not work out for us early on in the year. Then Stan Van turns it all around only for Brandon Jennings to ruin the momentum by getting injured for the year! Talk about highs and lows. Tonight, we are going to roll the Pistons again as they take on a hobbled Miami team. The Heat haven't been anything since they somewhat exploded on the scene this year and I expect a blow out tonuigt. Deng and Wade will be in skreet clothes which means the Pistons won't have to worry about playing any defense. Hassan Whiteside might be a rebounding/blocks machine, but he doesn't have the UPSIDE (heh) that Andre Drummond does! Expect DreDrum to put up a 10-10-10 tonight as he wins the big man battle against Hassan. 

NBA Lines

HOU (+8) vs. GSW

This is a decision that could go horribly wrong in three shots. Three triples from Curry/Klay/or Dray Dray and this is a blowout and a non cover. But you know whos really good? James Harden. He has turned in a very impressive near half season, and should continue to get better as Josh Smith and Corey Brewer become more and more familiar to their Rocket teammates. I really like the Rockets to straight up, flat out, win this ball game right here.

OKC (+1.5) vs. WAS

The THUNDER!!!! Came through for me big last night, and I see no reason not to keep the money rolling on them today! Durant did have a minor sprain or something late in the game last night, but I expect him to come out guns a blazin against his hometown team. Watch as the fans of Chocolate City rock their Durant Wizard jerseys only to have their hearts crushed after he drops sixty five against John Wall n crew and then signs a unprecedented 15 year extension with OKC tomorrow.

LAL vs. NOP (-7)

I don't even like this line, Mr. Nutz suggested it to me this morning, and honestly there wasn't anything better. Its like being drunk as shit at closing time in a college bar, talking to a ditzy blonde who wont stop telling you how cute her cat is and how much she likes EDM. You know you probably shouldn't roll it, but there's nothing better and closing time is right around the corner. So take a chance, wrap up and jump in head and feet first to see whats going on.

NBA Opening Week

Last night's NBA record: 3-2

B. Catz Picks

It's finally here. The day has come where no longer are my weekdays filled with working out and video games during free time. No for the next 6 months I will be firmly planted in front of the TV most evenings watching one of the most beautiful experiences unfold across the U.S. every night. We ain't talkin about your ice lacrosse either, we talkin good ole fashioned roundball!! This season is shaping up to be one of the most competitive affairs in recent memory and should make correct picks that much more difficult. Luckily for you, you have the dream team of Catz and Bjones here to guide you along the way. Happy hunting out there fellow basketball diehards.

Memphis Grizzlies (-7) vs Minnesota Timberwolves

Sure the Wolves could be a surprising team later on in the season when they figure out their rotations and which one of their fifteen small forwards should get the most playing time. In the mean time the Grizzlies know who they are, and what they do, and after a solid off-season and the return of a healthy Gasol you have a team that should contend for the title out west. Grindhouse packs the paint and forces Minnesota to jack up threes all night in this one, and if you take the Wolves you are basically betting on Ricky Rubio being able to shoot, have fun with that.

Detroit Pistons (+6.5) vs. Denver Nuggets

The only thing that concerns me about this game is that one of Dirtiest Picks favorite players Josh Smith spent all night last night getting baked out of his mind in Denver and shows up three hours late and misses the game tonight. Besides that I think this is a pretty safe bet. Get the points now while Vegas still wants to bet against the guy who turned Jameer Nelson and Hedo Turkey Glue into legitimate NBA players.


BJones' (3-2) Picks

Golden State Warriors (-5) vs Sacramento Kings

This game should actually be more competitive than you would think off first glance, but giving five points is still way too low for the Warriors offense, this could be tight all the way until the final thirty seconds when Steph Curry drops two threes in a row on Sac Town securing the win and the cover.

Milwaukee Bucks at Charlotte Hornets (-8) 

After completely rebranding themselves this offseason, the Hornets are looking to make another playoff appearance with an upgraded roster and a somewhat more active owner in Michael Jordan. The Hornets, who just signed PG Kemba Walker to a nice extension, return Al Jefferson, MKG (Not Machine Gun Kelly) and a solid bench with some exciting additions. 2014 Bust of the Year Noah Vonleh should be pretty terrible, but he will play limited minutes along with Cody Zeller to mask the PF deficiency. Last but not least, Lance a make em' Dance! LANCE STEPHENSON! BORN READY! One of the more polarizing NBA players of the last decade landed in Charlotte on a very favorable contract, and I have to say, this signing is huge for the Purp Bees. Lance is the exact player they need to put them in contention for a 5 or 6 seed this year while also possibly completely destroying the chemistry of this team. The Bucks on the other hand aren't great....or good. Jabari Parker is a good player, but he'll have to do too much, and can we stop building up the Greek Freak?! He's not exactly an all-star yet. Other than that, they have some pieces, but I think Charlotte's fans will be pumped to support their team and new All-Star, Lance Stephenson. 

Philadelphia 76ers at Indiana Pacers (UNDER 189)

Atlanta Hawks at Toronto Raptors (OVER 200)

4 interesting teams if anything. The Sixers are just straight trash right now and shouldn't be on TV ever. Nerlens Noel is a very intriguing player, but everyone else can suck it. The Pacers don't have Paul George who struggled to score last year, imagine how Nap Town will do without him! That game has to go under as the Sixers probably struggle to shoot 50% in a lay up line, let alone score on the Pacers.

Meanwhile, the Hawks and Raptors will be the basketball nerdgasm of the night. The Hawks are Spurs-lite as Mike Budenholzer has turned the Hawks into a 3 point shooting, ball moving, fast paced squad. The Raps made a nice impact in the playoffs last year and returned most of the same players. Towards the end of the year the Raps were a great over team, and I think that will continue this year as the team is a little more mature and added another scorer in Lou Williams. This will start slow, but go over in the second half.

Washington Wizards (+4) at Miami Heat

Chicago (-4.5) at New York Knicks

I find both of these lines hilarious!! The Wizards, a very good team last year with a below average coach, had a solid season last year and should be fine when Bradley Beal comes back. They added Paul Pierce, which isn't exactly monumental, but it helps. The Heat?! Are favored?! Yeah, broken down, not very good Dwyane Wade will hobble his ass out there and get torched by Glenn Rice Jr. Norris Cole has to guard John Wall, Chris Bosh hasn't had more than 5 rebounds in like 2 years and he's playing center against Nene and Gortat. Oh and some guy named S. Williams is starting at PF for them. I don't know if that's Shawne or Sheldon, but it doesn't fuckin matter. Give me the points.

The Bulls line is also dumb as fuck! Everyone wants to put the Bulls in the finals and say they are one of the best teams in the league, but let's give it a second alright? Tonight they should take care of the Knicks who are trotting out one of the nastiest lineups I've seen in a while! Melo' starts with a Jose Calderon who is probably wondering what he did to deserve this shit, Iman Shumpert at the 2 (can't shoot), JASON SMITH!!!!!, and Sam Dalembert!!! Terrible, terrible team. Don't watch this bullshit.