NBA WTF is Going on Tuesday

Well, it finally happened. After months and months of phone tapping and daily visits to Dirtiestpicks.com, Vegas readjusted on the NBA. Last year (and even earlier this season) you could take points in three games a night and you were guaranteed to go 2-1. We wouldn't even check scores from the previous night because it was so much of a sure thing. Well, the jig is up. After getting absolutely slaughtered over the past six nights, we realized its not what we were doing (writing kick ass picks daily) it was want we weren't doing. We had become the Scott Brooks of sports gamblers. We were playing the same style night after night, even when the opposition had adjusted and it wasn't working anymore. So we did what the Thunder did and fired the coach, replacing him with a hilariously incompetent college coach with a big name!! Without any further ado, on to the adjustment!!

CLE -1 vs BOS

Boston is an easy pick here right?? They played the Warriors extremely well last week, and should be rested and ready to roll against a Cavs team that sims through games like they were playing My GM in 2k! Nope. Not today chief. Cavs are getting ready for their Christmas day match up with the Dubs, and you can bet LeBron will have this squad firing on all cylinders in ten days, starting with a big win tonight in Boston.

MIL -4 vs LAL

If you believe in the transitive property this is the best team in sports right?? They beat an all-time great team on Saturday and dropped the Warriors to 24-1!! So what if the Warriors were on the seventh game in a road trip and coming off a double OT win in Boston the night before, and the Bucks struggle with consistency. This is a lock. The Lakers are terrible, and Kobe isn't going to get his groove going against a team that has so much length and athleticism across the board. Oh, the Bucks are on a nine game road losing streak?? Doesn't matter. Diamond encrusted steel cage lock!!

HOU +1.5 vs SAC

Okay I couldn't help myself. You know I'm addicted to taking points, and one a night can't hurt anything right? I mean heroin addicts still get to take methadone to kick their habit right?? Lets look at it like that. This is my methadone pick of the day! And I feel really good about it, because as much as Houston is a diarrhea garbage team, Rondo is out for the Kings. Sac town isn't the same squad without Rajon, Houston wins!!

NBA threesome

NYK +6 vs CHA

I had a feeling the Knicks would show up last night and they did, covering against the Raptors. They haven't been great against the spread in two straight games all season and it definitely won't be easy against the resurgent Charlotte squad formerly known as the B Catz as well. In the end Jeremy Lamb and his bench of college all stars don't scare me enough not to take the points.

IND +3.5 vs BOS

Have you had the chance to watch Paul George play in the last week? If not, do yourself a favor and turn on the next Pacers game. PG has shed that early rust and is looking like the guy who tore up the league two seasons ago. Averaging 30 in his last three games, let's hope he's back to 100%. Meanwhile the Celtics are solid, but who are they really scaring? 

DET +1 vs SAC

Getting a point for a team that I love to bet on against the most dysfunctional organization in sports, sign me up!! The Kings just had a players only meeting to discuss their very poor start, but those never end up with a complete turnaround. Look for the Pistons to out coach, out hustle, and out play the Kings en route to a twenty point victory.

Super Tuesday!

NBA Picks

SAC @ NO (-3)

Everybody loves Sac Town right now, and for good reason. DeMarcus Cousins is very, VERY good. He's franchise player good. Unfortunately, Anthony Davis is All-Time Great good. The Brow has put together an incredible season thus far, including a 28 point, 9 rebound, 3 blocks, 2 steals performance. You know what other number he put up? 0. As in 0 assists. The Brow might be a black hole, or he's just so good that he doesn't need to pass. Either way, he's really, really good and with Eric Gordon out for the forseeable future (again), Davis should have a few extra shots to work with. And Rudy Gay can't keep this up! Stop it Rudy!

CHI (+4) at DEN

There's no pleasing Catz. Yesterday he asks me to pick a fav for him and of course I picked the Mavs. He then proceeds to write the pick up, throw more shade than a palm tree in Miami and tell me how much he hates the pick! Then forces me to re-write it and claim it as my own! Needless to say, I was more embarrassed than a Chili's waiter after getting low-grade mashed potatoes thrown in my face. So today I decided to take the points, as Catz has been doing (well I might add) lately, and what do I get? "Whoooooaaa broooo that's a gnarly ass pick. Rose, Hinrich and Gibson are out, noooooo way. Now excuse me while I go catch some gnar waves." So I just don't know where to turn. Either way, Chicago with all back up players is 10x better than the Thuggets. This team sucks and that is a reflection of the worst coach in the league, Bryan Shaw. The man decided that his team, which has a geographical advantage, should slow it down and play defense! What the fuck?!! How does that make sense?! You have one of the fastest PG's in the league, a bunch of shooters, tons of wing players and a few athletic bigs. Why would you slow it down? Sorry, I hate this team. If Gasol and Rose play, they win by 20.

Catz: Giving the Bulls four points on the road against Denver? This can't be a real line right? This just seems to easy, which probably means Denver runs and guns its way to a thirty five point victory, but there is no way I am not taking four points with Thibs against whoever the hell coaches the Nuggets.

DET (+3) vs. MIL

Initially I did not want to make this pick at all. Then I started looking at some numbers and realized that the public loves Milwaukee in this game!! Not at a 51-49 split either, multiple sites have the Bucks favored by the public at 97-3 type spread!!! That is way too high for two teams that aren't very good. For some reason people think that Milwaukee is the Harlem Globetrotters all of a sudden, and while they are improved, they certainly aren't good enough to not take the points and Detroit here. Just don't jack any triples J Smoove, and for god sakes someone get Jeanette Mccurdy aka ICarly on the phone; Andre Drummond has become a shell of himself since he stopped pounding the former Disney star like a mallard duck! 

Stanley Cup Game 4

Stanley Cup Kings

Los Angeles (+120) @ New York (L)

I think the Kings have shown they are the better team by now. There's always a chance the Rangers come out on fire and win one to protect the dwindling respect their fans have left for them. In reality though, the Rangers needed to win last game and they were fully aware of that. They came out with everything they had and didn't even manage to score a goal. Why would tonight's game be any different? If the Rangers win tonight all it really should do is piss off their fans. If they can win tonight why the hell couldn't they win when they still had a chance? Kings win the game and go back to Cali with the Stanley Cup on their plane. 

NHL Game 7

Los Angeles @ Chicago (-150) (L)

Unfortunately, one way or the other, this series ends tonight. I say unfortunately because the level of intensity and play of this series will not be matched for quite some time. These teams have each had moments of total collapse only to come back and fight unrelentingly to regain control. In the beginning it was Chicago that came out on fire and looked like they would easily cruise to the finals. The Kings would not be embarrassed though and stormed to a 3-1 series lead after getting blown out in game 1. Then, Chicago dug in and won 2 games with the season on the line. Tonight, it all ends. Chicago is at home and they have taken all the momentum back. Their best players are playing their absolute best hockey of the year. I don't see tomorrow's paper saying "KINGS WIN". 

NHL Saturday SOOOOOPPER SLAM!!

NHL Saturday Slampiece 

If you’re one of my many faithful readers, I lost you a good chunk of change last night. Looking back I have to admit, I did let my ego get the best of me and forgot this is the Stanley Cup Playoffs and absolutely anything can happen.  If you’re one of the poor souls that bet on all my picks, well, what the fuck were you thinking?  The Blackhawks -1.5 on the road? The Penguins -1.5 against the New York fuckin’ Rangers in a do or die game?  You must be on drugs.  Good news though! Tonight’s the night we win all that money back plus a little extra (so you can buy some more drugs).

 Montreal (+170) @ Boston (L)

One thing that is clear as day: the Boston Bruins and the Montreal Canadians do not get along.  Both clubs have storied histories and have duked it out in some of the most classic playoff battles the NHL has ever seen, this year appears to be no different.  The Habs are fighting to bring the Cup back to what they believe is the country it belongs in for the first time in 21 years.  The Bruins are fighting to both stop that exact scenario from having a glimpse of hope and to stop the Canadians from beating them in the playoffs for the 25^thtime.  These 2 clubs met for the first time in 1924.  The all-time record between the two stands at 450-337-103 in favor of Montreal; the playoff series all-time record isn’t pretty, its 24-9 in favor of Montreal.  The teams are tied at 2 games apiece and the series shifts back to Montreal for game 6.  For some reason I’m feeling a Habs’ upset tonight.  Don’t ask me why, I don’t have very many reasons that make sense, but I think that’s how this one’s going to go. Unfortunately. 

Montreal (+1.5; -175) @ Boston (L)

Here’s my pick on the spread for all you pussies that don’t trust my big balls money line pick.  (-175) isn’t so bad if you ask me, when you consider 2 of the 4 games have been decided by 1 goal.  I think Montreal wins on the road but if I’m wrong, and there’s a pretty small chance of that, but if I am the Habs aren’t a team that gets blown out.M

Montreal @ Boston (UNDER 5; -115) (L)

Considering the fact that on one end of the ice, between the pipes, is the best goalie the hockey nation itself has to offer (Carey Price); and on the other end of the ice, between the pipes, is Tuuka Rask, there is no way either team is going to light up the scoreboard.  The series is tied at 2 games apiece; this is the time when we find out which of these superstar goalies is truly above his peers.  These teams don’t pay these goalies millions of dollars to have a great season.  They do it so when they’re tied at 2 games in the Eastern Conference Semi Finals they lock that net the fuck down.  There will be no easy goals tonight.

  

Anaheim @ Los Angeles (-155) (L)

I’m not exactly sure what was said or done after the Kings lost game 3 to the Sharks in the first round but whatever it was, you could say it worked.  They came back and not only won 4 straight to move on but continued the streak and won the first 2 games of this series and put the pressure on Anaheim.  The Kings have outshot the Ducks in 2 of the 3 games thus far.  This game will either end in the Kings holding a commanding 3-1 series lead or a series tied at 2 games apiece.  I’m holding true to my belief that Bruce Boudreau is not a successful playoff coach and picking the Kings to come out on top as a result.

Anaheim (+1.5; -220) @ Los Angeles (WINNER!)

Anaheim has been changing goalies like no fuckin’ tomorrow.  Hiller lets in a bad goal, Andersen’s in net.  Boudreau doesn’t like the look Andersen gives him in between periods, Hiller’s between the pipes again.  Now there’s this new fuckin’ guy, John Gibson.  Gibson was taken away from his AHL team in Norfolk, Va. just for this game.  Word on the street is Gibson is going to get the nod for game 4.   If this happens to be the case, that’s 3 fucking goalies for the Ducks in one fucking series and it’s only the fourth game.  If this series goes to game 7 they’ll be bringing up some peewee phenomenon to go out and steal a game. Nevertheless, all these goalies are top notch and that obviously includes LA goalie, Johnathon Quick.  I expect to see a low scoring game with the Kings on top but only by a goal. 

Anaheim @ Los Angeles (UNDER 5; -115) (WINNER!)

I don’t think this needs much explaining.  The whole goaltending thing I talked about in my last pick applies here.  Look for a low scoring game.

NHL Playoff Puck Picks

Boston (-145) @ Montreal (WINNER!)

This really just boils down to the lesser of 2 evils; I hate the Bruins but I hate all Canadian hockey teams even more. Fuck you Montreal, I hope it's another 125 years before you win a cup. Boston wins on the road and the series is tied at 2 a piece. 

Boston @ Montreal Props 

Will either team score in the first 10 minutes?

-YES (-115)  (L)

Look for Boston to get on the board quickly and take the French Canadian crowd out of the game early. 

Team to score first:

-BOSTON (-115) (WINNER!)

Boston has to jump on the Habs early if they want to win this one. I expect a goal in the first 5 minutes. 

Anaheim (+120) @ Los Angeles (WINNER!)

Well... It's now official, Bruce Boudreau is a terrible playoff coach. He had the best team in the league in Washington for years and won jack shit. Now he's got another fantastic hockey club in Anaheim and isn't winning jack shit. Bruce you're gunna be coachin mini mites up in Saskatoon if you keep this up big guy. However, I do think the Ducks dig deep tonight, led by Ryan Getzlaf, and scratch out a vital road win. Anaheim has too much scoring power to not go off one of these games. 

Anaheim @ Los Angeles Props

Ducks total goals scored:

-OVER 2.5 (+105) (WINNER!)

Like I said, the Ducks are going to explode on offense sooner or later. If they don't tonight they're basically done. So I think this is a safe bet. (Boudreau, don't you fuck me you fat bastard.) 

Ducks total shots on goal:

-OVER 30.5 (-125) (L)

I'm going all Ducks tonight if you can't tell. 

NHL Picks

Quick Playoff Puck Picks

Boston @ Detroit (+125) (L)

Zetterberg returns to Detroit's line up tonight after his injury in the Olympics. With the Wings in a must win situation I expect to see a very hard fought defensive battle with a low score featuring Detroit on top. 

Colorado @ Minnesota (-135) (WINNER!)

Minnesota has managed to out play the Avs the past 2 games. They have a chance to even the series at home tonight and I don't see any reason to doubt them. 

San Jose (-110) @ Los Angeles (L)

The Sharknado goes for the sweep tonight. They've been better in all aspects through 3 games. Don't expect any crazy come backs out of the Kings.

NBA Picks

Last Night: 4-1-1

BJ's Wet & Wild Wednesday Winner!

GS (-3.5) @ CHI (L)

Last night we were very successful! We look to continue our NBA hot streak with a bundle of NBA picks. Let's start it off with the Golden State Warriors coming out of Chicago with a win. Usually, betting against a depleted Bulls team is a bad idea. Tonight, the Warriors are going up against a Chicago squad that had to play 48 tough minutes against Atlanta. Look for a tired Bulls squad to slow down near the fourth quarter as the Splash Brothers lead GS to a victory. 

Filthy Pickz Sugar probably shouldn't let his mom read

By Bobby Catz

Hou at LAC (-5.5) (W)
Houston had a great night against Sacramento less than 24 hours ago. Harden scored 46 and barely played in the fourth. However, these clippers are a horse of a different color. CPthrizzle has integrated back into the lineup seamlessly and Blake Griffin looks more and more like the mailman every day. The Clippers are getting contributions across the board and will even get a boost from newly acquired Glen "the biggest baby" Davis. The Rockets played last night like they expected to lose today, so give the five and half points and watch the Clippers cruise.

GS at CHI over 186.5 (L)
Historically I am not great at calling over/unders. You might say my ability to choose correctly is on par with American hockey teams looking to get wins over the Canadians, not good. However, lately, I've been feeling myself a little bit (seriously, ask my editor) [EDITORS NOTE: confirmed, he is feeling himself] even though this game is between two defensive powerhouses; look for the dubs to score about 115. That means if the Bulls can get to just 75 points we have a winner here! Doesn't that make you feel better? Joakim, Dunleavy, DJ Augustin, and Carlos Boozer can score 75 right? Right? Fuck....

NO at DAL (-7) (W)
The Pelicans were supposed to be an offensive juggernaut this season, but somehow have gone the other way. They can't find scoring from anyone but Anthony Davis, and the biggest shocker Eric Gordon is injured again! Seriously Eric Gordon takes more days off than Raymond Felton's nutrition coach! Look for Dirk Nasty and the boys to roll early and often in this one.

B--B-BONUS PICK!!!
ATL (+3) at BOS (L)
Last night, Atlanta kept it close with a Bulls team that they had no business competing against. Good news for the Hawks, the Celtics are not the Bulls. Atlanta has a mean three guard rotation in Jeff Teague, Louis Williams, and Shelvin Mack. Couple that with the outside shooting of Kyle Korver and you got yourself a dangerous team to give three points to. The Hawks bounce back here and get the big W against the Celtics.