Golden State Warriors vs. New Orleans Pelicans
Catz: Not sure why all of the talking heads think that the Pelicans can steal one or even two of these games. I get "the brow" is a ridiculous NBA player, but look at the guards that Nawlins trots out there....marquee names that strike fear into an opponent like Tyreke, Norris Cole, or Eric Gordon. There's a good chance NOP doesn't even get a lead in this series let alone a win.
Nutz: I'm not going to be a dick like Catz and insult a team that just made it to the Western Conference playoffs with a young squad. But I am going to predict an absolute ass whoopin, the likes of hasn't been seen since Stone Cold Steve Austin wore the strap! The Dubs have incredible ball movement, a smart coach and an amazing backcourt. I also have a slight grudge against the 'Cans as they cost me a seafood buffet dinner by hitting the over this season.
Consensus: Warriors in 4.
Houston Rockets vs Dallas Mavericks
Catz: We went back and forth on this in the DP office, originally I was interested in picking HOU in 6 until Nutz brought up a few solid points and Sugar shocked the office with his Surgalski scoop that Dirk is going to shoot jumpers this series!! That's the kind of dynamite reporting we have around these parts. Because of all that info I was forced to reconsider my pick and I did....Rockets in 6.
Nutz: Shit are we at IHOP?! CAUSE WE'VE BEEN WAFFLIN ON THIS PICK ALL DAY!!!!!!! Nothin? Ok, well I'm going Rockets here as well. The Rocks have dominated this matchup all year, mostly due to their perimeter domination. The Mavs, touting a guard lineup of Monta Ellis and The Man We Used To Call Rajon Rondo, won't have any success trying to guard James Harden and whoever else is out there. I was a little worried because Dirk lives for the playoffs and Rondo always saves his best performances for the the post season. Not to mention Rick Carlisle....shit....whatever, ROLL IT! Rockets in 6!
Consensus: Rockets in 6
Los Angeles Clippers vs. San Antonio Spurs
Catz: CATZ'S SUPER UPSET OF THE FIRST ROUND!! Not really an upset if you are one of those traditional seeding kind of guys, but we all know who is the favorite in this series. This is the Clippers championship right here, and they are going to put every ounce of effort in to winning this series. They might even lose the next series after this depending on who they play, but Blake, CP3 and DeAndre will score the upset against the defending champs!! Clippers in 7!!!
Nutz: I am going to give this one to the Spurs based on two things: I HATE the Clippers! Blake Griffin has become so whiny and bitchy that it's hard to watch him at this point. Pair that with super tough, bad ass supreme Matt Barnes (terrible basketball player) and you have a very unlikeable team. Second reason: They're the Spurs. You have to trust Pop, Duncan, Parker and to an extent, Manu. Just trust em.
Catz: Clips in 7. Nutz: Spurs in 7.
Portland Trail Blazers vs Memphis Grizzlies
Catz: Terrible matchup here for the Blazers. Maybe they would have a chance at winning a game or two if they were fully healthy, but they aren't so break out the brooms. Grindhouse is going to take care of business and the Blazers in relatively quick fashion. GRIZZ IN 4.
Nutz: This sucks! The Blazers busted their asses all season to get a top 3 seed, only for Aldridge to get hurt for an extended period of time and to lose Wes Matthews for the year. This team has done well to patch things up over the last few weeks, but they clearly miss Matthews. The Grizz are too much of a defensive juggernaut to survive a full series against the grind house.
Catz: Memphis in 4. Nutz: Grizz in 6
Atlanta Hawks vs Brooklyn Nets
Catz: This could honestly be the most one sided playoff series in recent history. The Hawks could literally start their second string and still end up sweeping this series. I hate the Nets. Garbage team owned by a guy who doesn't give a fuck (not you Hov EDITOR'S NOTE: "Hov" is no longer part of ownership. Catz apparently does not know this) and a couple of "stars" who didn't even care enough to respond when a former teammate basically called them pussies in the media. You think Lebron would respond if someone questioned his professionalism? Yeah that's not a great look D-Will, have fun in Shanghai next year. Hawks in 2.5...minutes that it takes to realize how lopsided this one is.
Nutz: The Nets will probably somehow win a game in this series, but we all know they aren't going anywhere. Deron Williams is just terrible and Joe Johnson should be playing for the Pelicans right now. I seriously hate this franchise. They're boring as fuck, their unis suck and their arena and fans suck. If they didn't have Lionel Hollins there would be no reason for them to exist as a franchise.
Consensus: Hawks in 4
Cleveland Cavaliers vs Boston Celtics
Catz: This is the worst possible matchup for the Celtics. They can't defend anyone from driving to the rim and the Cavs have two of the three best players at doing just that. Really the only positive that could come out of this series is if Brad Stevens is able to have a secret lunch with Kevin Love where he can pitch him wearing green next season. Enjoy the Lebron hates Boston show everybody.
Cleveland in 4.
Nutz: Am I the only one that thinks it's weird that Boston is in the playoffs?! I feel completely unprepared for this series! I have no clue who plays on this team (that's not true) but I definitely know that the Celtics will not win a game in this series. Brad Stevens is a good coach, but LeBron doesn't fuck around in the first round and Kevin Love needs to prove his worth for whatever team he hops to this summer!
Consensus: Cavs in 4.
Toronto Raptors vs Washington Wizards
Catz: If this series featured the two teams that we watched back in December, my enthusiasm for these games would be much greater. Unfortunately for both Rapes and Wizards fans, these are not those teams. Injuries have basically destroyed the season for both teams, but it seems like the Raptors are taking the injury plague exceptionally hard. Meanwhile the Wizards have a very talented team that would be light years better if they had even a semi-competent coach at the helm. With all of that being said, I like the Raptors to win this series purely because their coach sucks a little bit less than the Wizards coach. Wiz in a sloppy 6.
Nutz: I have no idea how this one is going to go! These teams are the exact same! This is just "Default Eastern Conference Playoff series." I am going to roll with the Raptors! They have home court advantage, and a hellacious one at that. The Raps are a solid enough team to win this series in 6.
Catz: Wiz in 6. Nutz: Raps in 6.
Milwaukee Bucks vs Chicago Bulls
Catz: When I first checked out this series I wanted to make the case for Milwaukee because of their depth, coaching and GIANNIS!!! Then I really buckled down and thought to myself "the fucks going on here, I can't bet on Milwaukee to beat Chicago!!" That pretty much settled it for me. Milwaukee is a good story and should be a fun team to watch over the next couple of years, but this is a veteran-laden, well coached, tough Chicago team. J Kidd is about to get a rough teaching lesson from Thibs because it's Thibs and that's what he does. Chicago in 5.
Nutz: Much like Catz I wanted to roll the Bucks because it's fun! But Thibs doesn't care for fun. He only cares about running his players into the damn ground until they can't go anymore! That's the formula for a dominant first round and a second round sweep ladies and gentleman!
Consensus: Chicago in 5
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