Wednesday Mid-Week Weekend NBA Picks!

NBA Picks

BJ's Three Team Teaser of the Week (L)

The NBA struggle around here has been real. We've lead a lot of people astray with our picks and have been trying everything to get the stench off! Well, when it comes down to it, we just need to ease back into this thing with easy picks and teasers. Yeah I know they aren't as lucrative as throwing together a fat parlay and sweating out every win, but they are nearly guaranteed. Tonight, I'm rollin 3 teams out in a nice 8 point (-110) teaser. 

Toronto (-3.5, teased to +4.5) at Boston (Winner!)

Denver at San Antonio (-13.5, teased to -5.5) (L)

Memphis at Utah (UNDER 184 teased to 192) (Winner!)

The Raptors had a rough one last night, but they should bounce back just fine against an up and down Boston team. Denver just sucks, and they made a dumb ass coaching hire, so they're definitely getting blown out. And the Grizz might hold Utah to 65 points tonight, so don't bother watching that game. 

Bob's NBA Teaser (L)

Tonight we are rolling out a two team five point teaser that will make the payout (-130). Both of these games will be incredibly entertaining and will give you something to keep on eye on while watching Heat/Pacers round three.

BKN (+7.5) at CHA (Winner!)
Every time this year I've been betting against the Nets I have gotten burned harder than that time I went to Thailand. Well tonight we put a little penicillin on that burn and back the Nets for once. Look for a huge night from D-Will, Truth, and Plumlee (!!) as the Catz keep this one close in the first half, but slowly fade away in the fourth.

NO at LAC (-2.5) (L)

Anthony Davis has not only been playing like one of the best players in the league lately, he's been playing like an all-time great. His numbers in just his second year are very similar to those of Tim Duncan in his second year. Not saying that he's gonna go down as one of the best power forwards of all time, but the sky is definitely the limit for this young Pelican. With all of that being said the Clippers are the better team right now. Look for Blake and CP3 to have a big night exploiting the Pelicans on nonstop pick and rolls as they roll to a 10-15 point win.

NBA 2k14 Simulation ROUND 2

  The last time we did a NBA 2K simulation, the game predicted a NY Knick win over the OKC Thunder, and a monster Raymond Felton game. Well, 2K, you were wrong about the spread and the o/u, but dammit did you nail that Felton prediction. So once again, we are going to simulate an NBA game and see what would happen if you bet according to the results! Tonight the Grizz and the Magic, two teams that you probably never watch! With this prediction, you won't have to.

Memphis Grizzlies @ Orlando Magic

 The Magic controlled the first half, taking a 53-43 lead into the break. Surprisingly, Orlando outrebounded the grit and grind Grizzlies 20-12. The Grizz were unable to grab one offensive board! What really separated the Magic in this half was their hot shooting, particularly from deep; they connected on 8-14 three pointers. Jameer Nelson led the way for Orlando, putting up 11 points and 5 assists. Nikola Vucevic went toe to toe with Marc Gasol, adding 6 points and 5 rebounds.

  For the Grizzlies, Nick Calathes continued his stellar play, opening the half with 11 points and 6 assists. Zach Randolph added 10 points and Marc Gasol finished with 8 points and 4 rebounds.

HALFTIME Orlando 53 - Memphis 43

The Magic came out on fire in the third quarter and extended their lead to 16 behind Tobias Harris' hot hand. The Grizz battled back as Zach Randolph scored 13 in the quarter and hit a buzzer beater to bring the game within 7. Gasol and Randolph finished the third quarter with 43 of their team's 69 points, but only 9 rebounds. Jameer Nelson had a rough quarter shooting, but continued to pass the ball well, penetrating and getting the ball out to open three point shooters.

In the fourth, the Grizz came barreling back and tied the game up with 3 minutes to go. The two teams traded buckets until the Magic finally forced a stop. Victor Oladipo answered with a 3 from the top of the key and Glen Davis hit his first shot of the game to put the Magic on top. From there it was all Orlando as they cruised to a 103-94 victory! 

Jameer Nelson was the player of the game finishing with 22 points, 12 assists and 3 rebounds. Vucevic controlled the paint for Orlando, finishing with 18 points on 8 for 8 shooting and 11 rebounds. Tobias Harris chipped in 22 and Oladipo had 13 off the bench. 

Z-Bo led the Grizz with 25, and Gasol finished with 23. The big men couldn't control the boards and finished with only 11 rebounds combined The real story of the game was the Memphis bench. The Grizz reserves could only muster 7 points and were dominated by the Orlando bench mob which put up 24. 

FINAL Orlando 103 -Memphis 94

Thoughts: This game sure does like chubby point guards as we are now 2/2 on PG MVPs. The three ball also seems to be heavily valued in this game as Orlando jacked up 23 and made 12 compared to Memphis 5-6. The simulation has the game going well over 179.5 and the Magic easily covering the 2 point spread. Will the 2k simulator let us down again, or have we unlocked the key to gambling?! Find out tonight!

Jurassic Park: Toronto

BJ's NBA Wednesday

We have been on a heater lately with our NBA picks. With an overall record of 8-2, I can only hope that I don't completely fuck this up tonight. With that being said, we have one NBA pick today as we focus more on College Hoops tonight.

Atlanta @ Toronto (-6) (WINNER!)

Just a few months ago, I thought it was over for Toronto. They smartly traded Rudy Gay to the dumbest team available and promptly started winning. The ball moves around the perimeter, they have solid athletes on the wing and tough, young big in Jonas Valenciunas. Atlanta, coming off a grind of a game versus Chicago, has finally started falling apart without Al Horford. Being bruised and broken by the Bulls and then traveling to Toronto to run and gun with the young Raps does not sound like my cup of tea. The only problem here is the Hawks are statistically better than the Raptors. They are more efficient on both ends of the court and, generally, take better shots. A lot of that data has to be thrown out, though, due to the Gay trade and Horford injury. Take Toronto tonight and hope Paul "Big Butter" Millsap takes the night off.

Bob's Basketbal Bonanza B-B-BONUS!!!

Cle (+8) at Det (WINNER!)

  Much like the city of Detroit, the hopes for this team are slim to none. Despite looking good over the last several weeks and the breath of fresh air the new coaching staff has instilled; the fun ends tonight. Giving anybody eight points against the Pistons is dangerous, unless they were playing the Bucks maybe. Couple that with the mini-resurgence of the cavaliers and you have yourself a game to win some money on. Anthony Bennett has actually looked like a number one pick in the last couple of games, and is destroying this reporters prediction that he would become the next Ndudi Ebi. Pistons probably still win this game by five, but they do not cover the spread!

2K14 Recap

Last night, we posted the results of our simulated NBA 2k14 game between the New York Knicks and OKC Thunder. The end product was a Raymond Felton MVP game and a win for the Knicks! We recommended taking the under (200.5) as well and now, we have the results!

2K14 mostly got the game wrong and resulted in millions of dollars lost. The Thunder easily disposed of the Knicks in a high scoring affair! We prefaced the post by saying we thought Kevin Durant would have a big game and recommending to lay the points as the Knicks can't even compete in the desolate shit hole that is the Eastern Conference.

BUT!!! Raymond Felton did indeed bring the noise with a 16 point, 7 assist, 7 rebound game! How NBA2k14 predicted this, I do not know. Over the next few weeks we are going to continue testing the basketball knowledge of 2K and hopefully never worrying about Raymond Felton going off again.

FINAL RESULT: LOSS

NBA 2K14 Simulation

That's right! I've given up on advanced stats and metrics, the eye test and doing that thing where I pull winning teams out of a hat. Today, we're going to try something different. We are going to put a bet down, based on a simulated game of NBA 2K14.

Why do this? Well, as a gambler, when you're down on your luck,  you need to try anything. Granted, last night we killed it and really don't need to resort to gimmicky gambling techniques. Besides, it's our blogs and your money, so fuck you!

Without further ado!

The New York Knicks @ The Oklahoma City Thunder

-9.5, 200.5

First things first, any time you can take a top 8 Western Conference team against any team from the East that doesn't have "Miami" or "Pacers" in their name, DO IT. I don't care what the spread is, just do it. My initial prediction would be to take the under and lay the points. I hate watching the Knicks play. If you bet against them, Earl Smith III is guaranteed to kill you with a meaningless, garbage time, bullshit 3 at the end of the game. If you take the Knicks, Sir Earl will definitely shoot 15 contested 20 ft jumpers, making somewhere around 12% of them. No worried. Kevin Durant is here to save the day. We know KD steps his game up when he's facing another superstar. Say what you want about Carmelo Anthony, the man can score the basketball. Look for Durant to continue his scoring tear and show everyone why he, not 'Melo, is the most unstoppable scorer in the game. Of course this means that Earl Smith III will want to show everyone that Earl Smith III is the most unstoppable scorer in the game, so expect a barrage of contested J's and a third quarter benching for the Knicks inked up, socialite. 

BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS! This is an NBA 2K simulation, not a slightly thought out betting analysis! 

Let's go over the first half: The Knicks came out hot and opened up with a 13-3 run to start the game. It was none other than Earl Smith III knocking down 2-4 3PT shots in the first half to go along with literally nothing else! 'Melo chipped in with an efficient 8 points and  5 rebounds on 4-5 shooting while Raymond Felton led the way with 9 points, 6 assists, 5 Big Macs, 3 rebounds and a steal.

For the Thunder, Jeremy Lamb contributed a Smithian effort of 19 points on 15 shots in 16 minutes! Lamb was 5-12 from deep as the Thunder tried to take advantage of a lackadaisical Knicks defense. Reggie Jackson (despite letting Raymond Felton's fat ass put up LeBron numbers) had 15 points and 7 assists in the first half. Kevin Durant struggled form the field going 1-4 on his way to 5 points, but was able to get his teammates involved towards the end of the half, wracking up 5 assists. Somehow, even computer simulated Scott Brooks still finds a way to let Kendrick Perkins play basketball, well done 2K. The Knicks dominated with 22 points in the paint and 23 rebounds compared to 12 and 15, respectively, for the Thunder. 

HALFTIME

NYK 53-OKC 51

At the end of 3, it was NYK 76-OKC 72. Through a sheer combo of shooting tons of threes and OKC not giving the ball to Kevin Durant, the Knicks were able to get their swag meter completely filled, resulting in a 3 to end the quarter. Tim Hardaway Jr. and Earl may have switched brains at half. It was all Knicks in the fourth as Tyson Chandler scored 10 points on Computer Kendrick. With 1 minute left, KD hit a 3 to bring the game within 5, but 'Melo answered by driving and drawing a foul from Serge Ibaka. Down 7 with few options left, Reggie Jackson dribbled the ball off a screening Computer Kendrick to effectively end the game. 

RAYMOND FELTON ended the game as the MVP with 15 points, 14 assists and 4 rebounds!!! Earl, who just wanted to get the fuck out of OKC and back to the strip club, chipped in 16 points on 6-11 shooting. Tyson Chandler dominated the fourth quarter on his was to a 15-10 night and 'Melo finished with 23 points, 10 boards and 3 steals.

For the Thunder, Lamb finished with 23 points and was ineffective the whole second half. Reggie Jackson added 21 points and 12 assists, but will never live down the shame of letting Raymond Felton dominate him for 48 minutes. Durant got things going late, probably a little too late. He finished with 18 points, 6 assists, 5 rebounds and 2 steals. Thabo Sefolosha was the least valuable player, putting up 3 points on 6 shots, adding 2 rebounds and a turnover in 36 minutes. 

FINAL

NYK 102-OKC 93

According to 2K: Take the under (200.5) and the Knicks ML!

Check back for analysis after the real game!