NBA E. Coli free picks!

WOOO!! Took a nice day off yesterday and let Nutz handle the picks so I could find my mojo. Good news, I found it!! Lets roll some picks!!

BKN -7 vs. PHI

Philly brought in Colangelo to turn this franchise around and what do they do?? Go out and get BLOWED out by 51 points by the Spurs, who were resting most of their star players!!! Unbelievable. I'm assuming Jerry had to have himself a nice tall glass of whiskey followed by two ambien after witnessing that performance. Now usually when a team gets mauled like that, I would say something like, these guys are pros they will rebound next game. But, we are talking about a team that has maybe four pros, maybe...Brooklyn on the other hand has really only had success against Houston (2-0), but a visit from the Sixers is always a nice way to spend a Thursday night.

LAC -1.5 vs. CHI

A tale of two franchises with complete opposite seasons so far. Chicago started out hot and have recently gone ice cold especially in the fourth quarter as Jimmy Butler is their only reliable scoring option. The Clippers started slow and really went downhill after blowing a game against the Warriors, but of late seemed to have a rhythm and are back to doing things that we expect from Lob City. A big key to their success has been a healthy JJ Reddick who really helps spread the floor for their big men to operate in the paint.

ATL +7.5 vs. OKC

People are really sleeping on what a terrific season Kevin Durant is having shooting the basketball, mostly because Steph Curry is having the best season of all time across the country. With that being said this is a terrible match up for the Thunder, because the Hawks have the guards to match up and slow down the duo of Westbrook/Durant. Last time they played, Jeff Teague took over down the stretch and propelled Atlanta to 106-100 victory, and don't be surprised if we see a repeat effort in this one.

NYK vs. SAC -6

This is me completely selling off all my Knicks stock and burning all of my gear. After teasing me earlier this season by looking like a competent team, the Knicks have lost 7 of 9 and most haven't been competitive. My guess is they need a coaching change as it is very clear Fisher isn't ready to be a professional coach, and Phil Jackson needs to go back to his farm in Montana and smoke peyote. I genuinely don't like laying this many points to a team as bipolar as the Kings, but it will have to do

NBA Weekend Money Grab

MIN +7 vs IND

Love absolutely everything about this Wolves team. Missing Rubio is definitely affecting them because they are forced to play Andre Miller heavy minutes when he should have retired four years ago. Wiggins has made the leap though, and getting this many points against a team that struggles to score? Sign me up.

NYK +6.5 vs CLE

If you ever find me on a street corner begging for money, it's because I have a hard time separating my love of New York sports teams and actual good bets. Lost big on the Jets last night and am just crazy (or stupid) enough to double up on the Knicks against the defending eastern conference champs. Spare some change?

NOP +9.5 vs TOR

Imagine if the Pelicans actually fielded a complete line up on a night to night basis? Might they have a shot at the 8th seed. Yep. Would Anthony Davis look like the MVP candidate he is rather than the guy having to do too much for a undermanned team? Yep. Oh well. Stupid bet here, but I'm grabbing points on the brow.

NBA Tuesday

WAS +5.5 vs OKC

It's the return of KD to the city that he helped build! That's right the nations capital, that wouldn't be here if not for Mr. former MVP. Though all the talk tonight is going to be about his chances of returning home after the end of the season, what they should be talkin about is the Wizards backcourt. Sure, they need to cut down on some turnovers, but these guys have been playing really well all season. The backcourt of Wall/Beal combine for 60 as the Wizards out play the Thunder in DC.

UTAH +6 vs CLE

For whatever reason Gordon Hayward plays really well whenever he plays against LeBron. Inevitably it always leads to the "has Hayward arrived??" convo on ESPN; followed by average output the rest of the season for Gordon. But at least it's fun to talk about for a few days. Plus Cleveland is on a mean heater right now...they have to be due for a confusing loss soon.

NYK +8 vs TOR

First off I owe Kristaps Porzingis's family and friends an apology. I thought he was going to be terrible. I really never expected him to do much of anything at all in the league and figured he would be back in Europe come February. Today he is averaging 12 and 9!! And looks like he legitimately belongs in an NBA rotation. So in honor of the Zinger...I'm taking the Knicks tonight.

MIN +2 vs CHA

Weird line alert!! Wolves are clearly the better team which is a line no one would have said at the beginning of the season. Wiggins is playing at a very high level, coming off of back to back 30 point games and the rest of the team is playing up to their potential. They have beaten legitimate good teams, don't be surprised if this one isn't even close.

NBA Draft & Conference Finals

NBA Draft Lottery

NYK +325; LAL +575

Either way here you're good. The NBA fixes the draft lottery and all of you sheep who don't believe in conspiracies better GTFO right now. What happened last year? Cavs won, LeBron went home, you mean to tell me that wasn't rigged? Buy that and I got a trunk full of original DaVinci sculptures that I'd like ya to take a look at . Seriously though anyone that thinks the NBA is going to go through another season where the two biggest markets are bottom five in talent desperately needs a wake up call. I know this ain't horse racin, but if I could I would even bet the Knicks get one, the Lakers get two and odds on favorite Minnesota gets the three hole. So good luck to both Karl Anthony Towns and Jahlil Okafor because after tonight you're going to either get yelled at by Kobe for a year or play in dinosaur offense with Phil Jackson and NY. Meanwhile the Wolves get Mudiay and roll out the best backcourt in the NBA in five years.

NBA Conference Finals 

Houston Rockets (+10) at Golden State Warriors

This could be a terrible, terrible series. The Rockets took advantage of one of the worst coaching jobs of all time and beat the Clippers to reach the conference finals. As Oklahoma City fans and Kevin Durant continue to pretend they don't miss James Harden, the Rocks are going to be looking for any slight advantage they can find as they get destroyed by the Warriors. Steph Curry has to be ROCK HARD knowing Jason Terry and James Harden are going to try to guard him all series, oh and Pablo Prigioni. Those poor dudes have no chance. Nevertheless, the Rockets might be able to keep this one close. Harden will need to cause some foul issues for the Rockets, but if the Warriors' bench plays half as well as they are capable of, Houston is fucked. 

Catz: New series....Same old Catz. After closely examining these two teams, I've come to the conclusion that should be a relatively easily win for the Dubs in four or five games tops. So why the hell would I back the losing team? Because the Rockets have been hearing all week that no one is giving them a shot against the Warriors. Look for a spirited Harden effort to fall just short as the Splash bros make their way towards their first NBA finals appearance.

Free NBA Picks!

You know who's a good player? Colorado Avalanche forward Nathan Mackinnon. I'll tell you what if I was putting together a list of rising stars in the NHL I would be out of my fuckin mind if he wasn't at the top of the list. The man was a number one pick, and has justified it in every sense of the selection.  Only a real homer would pick a Red Wing over the dynamic rising rookie of the Lanche.

NY at BKN (-6.5) (L)
Initially when I looked at this line, I wanted to take the Knicks because I felt like they had more to play for. Then I read an article about Mike Woodson wanting to hold Melo out for the last two games and wanting to "evaluate the younger talent". This immediately set my spider sense to tingling and I switched my pick. Now the more I think about it the Knicks are absolutely going to win, and this is probably the worst pick I've made all season (which is really saying something!). The hell with it though, the season is almost over and this enigma that is the Brooklyn Nets is almost out of my life (wait, they made the playoffs? Fuck me!). Take the Nets don't bother watching this shit game, and get pissed when JR drops 65 in a NYK rout.

DEN (+9) at LAC (L)
The Nuggets have been playing out of their minds lately!! Seriously this terrible Nugs team, with serious chemistry issues has actually looked like the 50 win team that they were last season. One night Randy Foye drops 30 and 15 dimes, and then the next game Timofey Mozgov puts up a 23 and 29 board game!! Seriously, look it up this shit actually happened! Also, the clippers aren't playing for anything even the pipe dream of snatching the two seed from the Thunder which is not happening. This is one is gonna be close, and the Clippers ultimately will pull away, but the Nuggets will keep this shit close and score the victory!

Free NBA Pick Friday

NBA Free Friday Frenzy Picks

Due to a serious lack of games last night I was only able to give the readers two wins on two picks. Well to make up for that tonight we have another full set of NBA picks in honor of the season being just about done.

NY at TOR (-5) (L)
For a week or so it looked like the Knicks might actually be able to salvage some portion of this miserable season by making the playoffs. Then JR Smith decided to take an NBA record 22 threes against the Heat and not only cost me my sanity, but obliterate their playoff hopes. Although mathematically they are not eliminated, their schedule is very tough from here out starting with tonight's match against the Rapetors. Look for the Raps to show the Knicks how to play some good quality team ball, while dominating them in a warm up for the playoffs in 10 days. Rapes by twenty, Knicks still garbage.

IND (+5.5) at MIA (L)
In what will undoubtedly be my worst pick of the 2013/14 NBA season, I'm going with the Pacers to cover a spread. I'm trying to forget that they are terrible against the spread and have been so bad lately that their coach decided to sit the starting five in order to "rest their legs". With all that said they have kept every game with Miami close this season and there is no reason why they should not be able to tonight either. Look for a 1-3 point win for either team and a nice cover.

CHA(-5) at BOS (L)
The Catz have been my golden goose all season, and a trip to Boston is definitely one more reason to get another egg. Expect a huge night from the law firm of Jefferson, Walker, and Douglas-Roberts as the Catz roll in bean town.

WAS at ORL over 196 (L)
I really do not have a great reason for wanting take the over here I just don't think of either team as a defensive powerhouse, and Orlando plays well at home. It may not be the 145-130 Rockets-Lakers score fest we saw the other night but it should be well into the hundreds.

ATL at BK (-6) (L)
The other night I decided to go with the Nets after getting brutalized by them all season and guess what happened? They lose, but in their defense it was the second night of a back to back after a huge win against the Heat. Now that they have had some rest, I expect them to come out at home and return to their winning ways. Nets roll as the final spot in the eastern conference remains up for grabs at least one more night.

DET at CHI (-10.5) (L)
Detroit has dropped 17 of 19 games on the road. You know where the worst place to travel to when you are attempting to fix your road woes? Chi tizzy! Couple that with the fact that the Bulls are playing their best basketball of the season and you have a recipe for a blowout. Look for Joakim "bow tie" Noah to teach the Pistons about running an offense through a high post and enjoy the win.

PHI at MEM under 199 (L)
Memphis likes to slow the game down and force opponents to use the entire shot clock before taking a bad shot. Watch this happen to the Sixers time and time again tonight as they struggle to not only crack a hundred, but to crack 80!

HOU at MIN over 217.5 (WINNER!)
The Rockets have treated me well lately by betting them to go over no matter what the line is. The Wolves despite the play of rookie Gorgei Dieng are terrible on defense and there is no reason this game won't turn in to a good ole Texas shootout! Look for H-town to score at least 120 at this one goes over.

NO (+15.5) at OKC (L)
Call this one the Catz big ass balls pick of the day. There is absolutely no reason the Thunder shouldn't blow these Pelicans out of the water (see what I did there!) as they cruise to a forty point win. However, I have my fingers crossed for some complacency by OKC as they get ready for the playoffs.

 CLE (-4) at MIL (L)
The Bucks are terrible, the Cavs are not as bad. Take the Cavs and watch Waiters go 1-17 as I curse the city of Cleveland.

PHX at SA under 211 (L)
Two potent offenses that will definitely combine for a solid 250 points on paper. Well luckily for you these games aren't played on paper. Take the under and bite your fingernails off as this game gets real close but stays under.

POR (-350) at UTA (WINNER!)
I like Rip City to win this game, I am just not comfortable enough to take the 7.5 point line. Look for Lillard to drop a couple of stink bombs from deep and for Portland to win by 5 on the road.

GS at LAL under 220.5 (WINNER!)
Another pick that has terrible potential to go crazy wrong. The Lakers are one of the five worst teams I have ever watched play defense and the Warriors aren't exactly 2002 Red Wings. For some reason though I am still feeling like this one fails to live up to expectations. Look for the Warriors to score upwards of 110, but the Lakers will fall short of the century mark and keep this one from going over.

Season Premier/Finale Sunday

Free NBA Picks

Wake up everybody!! It's the biggest night on television since that time they showed OJ eluding police in a white Bronco! Tonight is one of those bittersweet nights where one great thing ends, and another great thing starts in it's place. The conclusion of Shameless rolls onto Showtime tonight at 9ET and although this might be the weakest season they have had so far, historically the final episode is the gut punch/cliffhanger episode. While you are watching Fiona and Lip handle the Gallahger clan, make sure to record the two HBO premieres so you can watch them later. Game of Thrones has taken the nation by storm, and even if you read the books and know what's coming it's still exciting to watch it all play out and see what tweaks the HBO series will make to the source material. After that be sure to watch the new series from comedy legend creator Mike Judge (Office Space, King of the Hill) called Silicon Valley. I don't know that much about the premise of the show, but it stars two of my favorite comedians Kumail Nanjiani (side note: if you aren't listening to the Indoor Kids, you are fuckin up!) and Tj Miller. Both of these shows should give you at least two and a half hours ignoring your kids and making sure that your Sunday morning at work can at least be spent recapping what went on the lands of Westeros. After such a lengthy preview of what's going down tonight, you would probably think that I'm just gonna throw some NBA picks in as a little footnote, well once again you don't know the Bobcat. 

OKC (-140) at PHX (L)
Terrible matchup for the Suns, and possible first round preview if the Spurs stumble in the next few games. Look for a rested Westbrook to come out and light up the Suns backcourt as Durant quietly scores more than 25 to keep his consecutive game streak going.

NY (+7) at MIA (L)
Why am I picking the Knicks to cover this game? That is literally a question I don't have an answer to and I'm sure I'll end up watching this on my breaks going what the fuck is JR Smith doing?? The only silver lining is Melo loves playing against Lebron and always seems to bring his "A" game. Hopefully Wade sits again and the Knicks pull a shocker here.

LA (+16) at LAC (L)
Another game that has more potential to go wrong than the recent healthcare plan Obama rolled out. Last time these two teams met the Lakers got absolutely shithoused. I'm thinking this is a revenge game that shows they are still the Lakers playing in their home stadium and will at least try to not make this one a 50 point blowout. Lakers lose by 8.

ATL (+8) at IND (WINNER!)
Just like the Game of Thrones season premiere the Pacers postseason is much anticipated. You never know what Pacers team is going to show up, and if they play anything like they have over the last two months don't be surprised if the Bulls, Nets or mystery team X pulls the upset. All I know in this game is that the Pacers do not cover spreads, Hawks probably lose, but the smart bet is they cover.

HOU (-675) at DEN (WINNER!)
Dwight Howard could play tonight for the Rockets! Even if he doesn't do not expect this Nuggets team to pull the upset. Houston is at full strength, while the Nuggets are just counting the days until the offseason.

MEM at SA (-7) (WINNER!)
This is a terrible matchup for the Grizz. The Spurs always pack the paint and take away the inside options of Z-Bo and Gasol while allowing Prince and Tony Allen as many open 15 foot jumpers as they want. Don't be surprised if this game is an absolute blowout and the Spurs win 115-76.

DAL (-6) at SAC (L)
The Mavs have been in full blow playoff mode for several weeks and looked like they could give a team some trouble in the playoffs. The Kings are melting down like they do at this point every year, and despite another great year from Demarcus Cousins they are close to the bottom once again. Expect a big night out of Monta Ellis and Jose Calderon as the Mavs win comfortably in Sac town.

UTAH (+11.5) at GS (L)
I have no justifiably reason for picking the Jazz to cover this spread, if I were you I would stay farther away from this game than the Republican Party does from African Americans. Pick Golden State to win this game by forty and ignore this.

NO at POR (-625) (WINNER!)
This game is gonna be close and do not be surprised if Anthony Davis puts up a 32-15-8 line to score the upset. Hopefully Lillard and LMFAO do just enough to stave off the Pelicans and get a victory.

There you are an extended look at tonight's NBA action and a viewing guide for some television action after 5. Have a great night out there and remember stay away from that Jazz pick!

NBA Teaser!

After nailing a nasty parlay last night in what some would argue was one of the most difficult trio of picks of all time, tonight we try the other side of things with a little teaser action.

BKN (-4.5) teased to (+.5) at DAL (WINNER!)
Every time we have bet against the Nets this year we have gotten our shit rocked. So last week we decided to finally jump on the Brooklyn band wagon and throw some money on the  Nets for once. Look for the Kidds to come out swinging and for the deepest rotation in basketball to control this game from the jump, stealing one from Dirk Nasty and the Cubans.

NY (-10) teased to (-5) at CLE (L)
The Knicks are in full blow audition mode after the recent hiring of Phil Jackson. It makes you wonder if they made this move two weeks ago if they could snag that eighth spot. Alas with so few games remaining the Hawks should be able to hold on and secure it, but that doesn't mean the Knicks won't win a few more games. Look for a huge Hardaway Junior night against the same man he took it to in tech Rising Stars challenge as the Knicks knock out the Kyrie less Kavs (intentional).

TEASER: (L)

Friday Freak Picks

BJ's Hardcore Friday Picks
Ol' Bobby Catz gave me the day off yesterday for some reason, so while I reveled in the NCAA bracket ruining everyones lives, I also thought about my recent up and down NBA trend. I pride myself on being a pretty knowledgable NBA fan and I was trying to ride that knowledge to a solid w/l record. That shit did not work! So I am going back to looking at the numbers that matter, combining it with things like "Boogie Cousins almost stabbed his teammate last night," and winning at a nice 65% clip. Thanks for hangin in there while we figured our shit out!

New York at Philly (OVER 209.5) (L)
That is a big number for one mediocre team and the worst team in the league. Let's dig a little deeper. The Sixers, though terrible, play at the fastest pace in the NBA; nearly 103 possessions per 48 minutes. The Knicks play at the third slowest pace in the league, so those two stats nearly cancel out.  What it comes down to is defensive efficiency. Philly is the fifth worst in the league in that regard and the Knicks are right in front of them with the sixth worst. What we're looking at tomorrow is a game in which the Sixers get up and down the court, against a bad defense and probably get more possessions than usual. The Knicks on the other hand, are somewhat efficient on offense and they will  be getting more looks than usual this game. Expect 'Melo and the boys to cruise to at least 109 this game, if not more. Philly Might actually keep this close going up against an equally terrible defense. I predict a 115-103 finish.

San Antonio (-8) at Sacramento (WINNER!)
The Spurs have been flat out dominant as of late. Sacramento has been having a terrible month shooting the ball, and that is not going to get any better tonight as they try to go toe-to-toe with the Spurs. I would throw some numbers out, but you can just go to the NBA stats page and see that San Antonio dominates the shit out of Sacrament in every category.

Bob's Out from Under the Weather Picks

DET at PHX (-8.5) (L)
This matchup on paper should favor the Pistons. They are tall, athletic, and way more talented. However this game ain't played on paper as we have all learned early on in the NCAA tournament as well (Mercer!!). The Suns need this game if they want to stay in the playoff race and the number of remaining games is quickly dwindling. Look for a focused Suns team to come out gunning at home en route to a thirty to forty point blowout.

CHI (+6) at IND (L)
This is a possible second round preview of next months eastern conference playoffs. One thing is for sure, the Bulls are not afraid of the Pacers. Also for a team that struggles to score, the last team you want to go against is the Bulls. Although I expect the Pacers to win this series in a best of seven, don't be surprised if the Bulls take this one tonight behind a monster Joakim Noah game.

2K14 Recap

Last night, we posted the results of our simulated NBA 2k14 game between the New York Knicks and OKC Thunder. The end product was a Raymond Felton MVP game and a win for the Knicks! We recommended taking the under (200.5) as well and now, we have the results!

2K14 mostly got the game wrong and resulted in millions of dollars lost. The Thunder easily disposed of the Knicks in a high scoring affair! We prefaced the post by saying we thought Kevin Durant would have a big game and recommending to lay the points as the Knicks can't even compete in the desolate shit hole that is the Eastern Conference.

BUT!!! Raymond Felton did indeed bring the noise with a 16 point, 7 assist, 7 rebound game! How NBA2k14 predicted this, I do not know. Over the next few weeks we are going to continue testing the basketball knowledge of 2K and hopefully never worrying about Raymond Felton going off again.

FINAL RESULT: LOSS

NBA 2K14 Simulation

That's right! I've given up on advanced stats and metrics, the eye test and doing that thing where I pull winning teams out of a hat. Today, we're going to try something different. We are going to put a bet down, based on a simulated game of NBA 2K14.

Why do this? Well, as a gambler, when you're down on your luck,  you need to try anything. Granted, last night we killed it and really don't need to resort to gimmicky gambling techniques. Besides, it's our blogs and your money, so fuck you!

Without further ado!

The New York Knicks @ The Oklahoma City Thunder

-9.5, 200.5

First things first, any time you can take a top 8 Western Conference team against any team from the East that doesn't have "Miami" or "Pacers" in their name, DO IT. I don't care what the spread is, just do it. My initial prediction would be to take the under and lay the points. I hate watching the Knicks play. If you bet against them, Earl Smith III is guaranteed to kill you with a meaningless, garbage time, bullshit 3 at the end of the game. If you take the Knicks, Sir Earl will definitely shoot 15 contested 20 ft jumpers, making somewhere around 12% of them. No worried. Kevin Durant is here to save the day. We know KD steps his game up when he's facing another superstar. Say what you want about Carmelo Anthony, the man can score the basketball. Look for Durant to continue his scoring tear and show everyone why he, not 'Melo, is the most unstoppable scorer in the game. Of course this means that Earl Smith III will want to show everyone that Earl Smith III is the most unstoppable scorer in the game, so expect a barrage of contested J's and a third quarter benching for the Knicks inked up, socialite. 

BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS! This is an NBA 2K simulation, not a slightly thought out betting analysis! 

Let's go over the first half: The Knicks came out hot and opened up with a 13-3 run to start the game. It was none other than Earl Smith III knocking down 2-4 3PT shots in the first half to go along with literally nothing else! 'Melo chipped in with an efficient 8 points and  5 rebounds on 4-5 shooting while Raymond Felton led the way with 9 points, 6 assists, 5 Big Macs, 3 rebounds and a steal.

For the Thunder, Jeremy Lamb contributed a Smithian effort of 19 points on 15 shots in 16 minutes! Lamb was 5-12 from deep as the Thunder tried to take advantage of a lackadaisical Knicks defense. Reggie Jackson (despite letting Raymond Felton's fat ass put up LeBron numbers) had 15 points and 7 assists in the first half. Kevin Durant struggled form the field going 1-4 on his way to 5 points, but was able to get his teammates involved towards the end of the half, wracking up 5 assists. Somehow, even computer simulated Scott Brooks still finds a way to let Kendrick Perkins play basketball, well done 2K. The Knicks dominated with 22 points in the paint and 23 rebounds compared to 12 and 15, respectively, for the Thunder. 

HALFTIME

NYK 53-OKC 51

At the end of 3, it was NYK 76-OKC 72. Through a sheer combo of shooting tons of threes and OKC not giving the ball to Kevin Durant, the Knicks were able to get their swag meter completely filled, resulting in a 3 to end the quarter. Tim Hardaway Jr. and Earl may have switched brains at half. It was all Knicks in the fourth as Tyson Chandler scored 10 points on Computer Kendrick. With 1 minute left, KD hit a 3 to bring the game within 5, but 'Melo answered by driving and drawing a foul from Serge Ibaka. Down 7 with few options left, Reggie Jackson dribbled the ball off a screening Computer Kendrick to effectively end the game. 

RAYMOND FELTON ended the game as the MVP with 15 points, 14 assists and 4 rebounds!!! Earl, who just wanted to get the fuck out of OKC and back to the strip club, chipped in 16 points on 6-11 shooting. Tyson Chandler dominated the fourth quarter on his was to a 15-10 night and 'Melo finished with 23 points, 10 boards and 3 steals.

For the Thunder, Lamb finished with 23 points and was ineffective the whole second half. Reggie Jackson added 21 points and 12 assists, but will never live down the shame of letting Raymond Felton dominate him for 48 minutes. Durant got things going late, probably a little too late. He finished with 18 points, 6 assists, 5 rebounds and 2 steals. Thabo Sefolosha was the least valuable player, putting up 3 points on 6 shots, adding 2 rebounds and a turnover in 36 minutes. 

FINAL

NYK 102-OKC 93

According to 2K: Take the under (200.5) and the Knicks ML!

Check back for analysis after the real game!