BJ's MLB Picks

I'm back! I know that I have been pretty scattered when it comes to putting up MLB picks, but would you rather have me put out picks every day and go 55%, or every once in a while and go 69%? For the time being, you are going to have to live with only getting a few picks per week; a minor annoyance if you ask me. Nothing like listening to some vegan talk about how much of an unhealthy dick you are, or some crossfit "athlete" tell you how pointless it is that you go to the gym to lift and do cardio instead of crossfit. God I hate those people. As a matter of fact, I'd rather listen to a group of old white guys talk baseball for 3 straight hours while eating Cracker Jacks, than hang out with some crossfit douchebucket that can't stop talking about how intense and competitive he is. Listen dude, your back doesn't hurt because, "that's what crossfit feels like." It hurts because you're improperly lifting the fuckin weights.You're not "sore", your body is just permanently damaged, congratulations and enjoy being injured for the rest of your life. Back to an actual sport....

Tampa Bay (+1.5) at Baltimore (Postponed)

The Rays got a little too much love early on this year. People had them penciled into the World Series and they are kind of looking like a wild card team. No worries, they play in a decent division and have plenty of talent and one of the best managers in the game.

Washington Nationals (-184) at Miami (L)
This one is for the Catz. He wanted Natties -1.5 and I said no. Only because they have been wildly inconsistent this year and the Marlins have been able to keep games close somehow. I recommend taking the ML here and throwing it in a parlay. Take the -1.5 if you just want to go solo.

Seattle Mariners (+1.5) at Texas (L)
The Mariners are a decent offensive team this year. Now, Blake Beavan is not a guy that is going to instill a lot of confidence in most folks, but Texas is really banged up. Roll with the Smoak machine and see what happens.

St. Louis (+1.5) at Milwaukee (WINNER!)
 The Brew Crew has been great this year, but I think all that is going to slow down as we get into the meat of the season. The Cardinals will start to rise to the occasion and today should be a solid 6-5 win for one of these teams.

Oakland (+1.5) at LA Angels (WINNER!)
The Angels don't have pitching, Hamilton is out and the A's love to surprise the shit out of people.

LA Dodgers at San Francisco (-103) (WINNER!)
The FREAK! I always back the Gigantes whenever Lincecum pitches, so this is an easy one. The Dodgers have done a great job of helping us out here at Dirty Picks, by sucking every time we pick against them. I expect more of the same tonight and a Freak Fest well into the 8th inning.

Colorado (+1.5) at San Diego (WINNER!)
The Rockies have a 0 point differential, the Padres are -8, comprende?

Free Baseball Picks!

Just because I made a ton of NBA picks today, doesn't mean I'm going to stay away from the MLB! After a few days off, observing the game, bathing in stats and watching Robinson Cano's swing, I'm back with more non-sensical baseball picks:

Miami (+1.5) at Philadelphia (WINNER!)
The Marlins have not completely sucked this year! The Phillies are garbage though, so let's keep swimming with the Marlins, even though they are terrible on the road.

Toronto (+1.5) at Baltimore (WINNER!)
I think Baltimore has dominated every time I have bet against them. Feel comfortable taking the Jays though, they haven't been bad this year and at least keep things competitive as they've gotten off to a mediocre start.

Washington (+1.5) at Atlanta (L)
Why are the Natties so bad this year? I mean, they're not BAD, but they're not looking like a team capable of winning the Cup...or trophy... or whatever the fuck baseball's championship is. Bryce Baseball (the bro version of Mike Trout) is struggling to be a solid baseball player and the only man in his sport with some personality. Maybe he'll line some changers oppo tonight to change my tone (I don't even know what that means).

LA Dodgers (-122) at Arizona (WINNER!)
Everybody is talking about Puig and how much of an asshole he is, but who cares? He's not JR Smith or Desean Jackson! Let the man show up late to meetings and practice! It's not like they do anything anyways! Greinke is on the mound tonight, so the Dodgers should be fine.

Oakland at Seattle (+1.5) (L)
I'm not about to trust Ramirez on the mound yet, but I do trust that some Smoak bombs will be dropped in Seatown today. Go with the underrated M's again.

Free MLB Picks

BJ's Hella Hump Day Picks

Texas at Boston (-135) (WINNER!)
I was so wrong about the Rangers yesterday. I wasn't wrong about the fact that Lackey sucks. Once again I am taking the Soxxx because they have Jake Peavy pitching, a nice, old, washed up white guy. ROLL IT!

Miami at Washington (-200) (WINNER!)
Jordan Zimmerman should be able to overpower the surprising, but still irrelevant Marlins today. Look for Bryce Baseball to jack two into the White House front lawn.

Houston (+1.5) at Toronto  (L) 
I believe in the Blastros!!! They can catch fire in a heartbeat! Yeah, ok, I'm making this up, but you don't want to be the guy that bets (-1.5) against the Blastros every night, only to get burned 70% of the time.

Baltimore at NY Yankees (-163)  (L)
Tanaka Fever!!!! Actually that sounds like something horrible from WWII....

LA Angels at Seattle (+1.5) (L)
When are people going to start giving the Mariners props? One night they are heavily favored, the next night they apparently have no shot! Look for the M's to continue their dominance of the Angels tonight as Justin "Smoak your whole family" bombs a few into Edgar's Cantina.

Detroit (-112) at LA Dodgers 
For some reason I hate both LA teams. Oh and ANIBAL Sanchez is pitching for the Tigers tonight. Anytime I can say ANIBAL in my grizzled, mustachioed Mexican voice, you know we're locked in.

Weekend MLB Picks

Chicago White Sox (+1.5) at Kansas City Royals  (WINNER!)
To me, it's crazy that the Royals are actually starting to be favored in games. I just thought they had cool unis and a nice stadium to make up for the fact that they sucked for the last decade. I guess they have finally made something of their talent and even though the Sox are sitting players today, they should still keep it close.


Philadelphia (-122) at Chicago Cubs (WINNER!)
I remember when the Philly's brought together the nastiest starting rotation in existence a few years ago. Now look at them. Cliff Lee is no longer the most feared name on the mound, but he still has some tricks up his sleeve. Add in Philly's hot bats and the Cubs being cursed by Lord Voldemort and we have ourselves a blow out!


Seattle (-126) at Oakland Athletics  (WINNER!)
The home plate ump screwed Seattle two nights ago and the A's grounds crew screwed them last night! Time for King Felix to get up in Billy Beane's asshole and show him that money always wins over talent!

Atlanta at Washington (-154) (L)
Steven Strasburg is a beast and Bryce Harper is hilarious/the Johnny Football of baseball. In fact, I'll be calling him Bryce Baseball from now on.

St. Louis (+1.5) at Pittsburgh (WINNER!)
I have no idea what happened to the Spurs of baseball last night. They got hammered. Today should be different unless the Pitt has opened up some sort of baseball wormhole I didn't hear about.

San Diego at Miami (-152) (WINNER!)
Miami has been Seattle South for me this year! Ol' reliable! Not sure how, seeing as they suck.


Texas at Tampa Bay (-190) (WINNER!)
One day, Texas is going to explode for 25 runs. Hopefully, its' not today, not on D. Price.

LA Angels (-157) at Houston Blastros  (WINNER!)
Josh Hamilton had a great game last night and didn't even have to go to rehab afterwards! That's class and that is why I'm gong with the Angels! .....seriously though, I'm going with the Angels because Mike Trout is already the MVP.

Milwaukee at Boston  (-205) (L)
Milwaukee ain't hittin shit over that big ass wall!

MLB Picks

BJ's Diamond Bustin Picks on 'roids

You know, after talking shit about baseball for a few days and the better part of the last 5 years, I'm starting to warm up to it. My picks are 6-3 thus far and I don't have to watch shit! So here are some more roided out picks for your MLB taste buds.

Washington (-130) at NY Mets (WINNER!)

Toronto at Tampa (-152) (L)

San Francisco (+1.5) at Arizona (WINNER)

And wow have the Mariners really carried out this lock of the week thing! I'm pretty sure they've already dominated their runs and wins total from last year. Tonight is definitely the night where they lose by 15 and someone tears an ACL, but until that happens, I'm rollin with the Mariners again! Look for Justin Smoak to drop a couple Smoak Bombs on the only team in LA that Magic Johnson hasn't infiltrated.

Seattle (+1.5) at LA Angels (WINNER!)