Sunday Sundae!

Since the Dirty Picks couldn't coordinate well enough to get a podcast recorded this week, B Catz decided to come to the rescue for the blog once again with some sweet, treat football locks. Fresh off an impressive, borderline Pats level of cheating, 10-4-1 last Sunday, we attempt to keep this picks training rolling into week 5. BUF -2 vs TEN Rex Ryan eats rookie QBs like they were a set of fifteen sliders at White Castle!! Seriously the man can eat, even post lap band surgery. But if there is one thing Rex knows better than the inside of a fast food burger joint it's how to confuse the hell out of opposing quarterbacks, let alone rookie QBs. After looking very solid through the first few weeks, I think this is finally the week Marcus looks like a rookie and throws four picks, as Rex and the Bills go duck hunting in Nashville. CHI +9 vs KC I really did not like this line when I initially looked at it, but then I started thinking, would I really be comfortable on the other side of this? Alex Smith as my QB giving nine points against a Bears offense that actually does have some talent? Hell no!! That man shouldn't be trusted to pick up Justin Houstons dry cleaning, let alone run a successful NFL team. Sure Jamaal Charles is going to get his like he usually does, but I don't think KC has enough in the tank to win this game by 9 points. NYG (-7) vs SF This is basically the fuck you 49ers offense bet. I took the Niners last week against the Packers and then watched them barely be able to move the ball and get smoked 17-3 by a barely trying Aaron Rodgers and company. This week I don't expect anything different. These ain't the Harbaugh Niners anymore, expect a massive beat down by the Giants as OBJ has a monster game with at least two sportscenter top 10 grabs against a suspect Niners d.

NFL Week 1 Picks

Here are our picks for week 1 of the NFL Season! Check out the pod as we go into further detail and debate about this weeks spreads on, THE SPREAD!

Sugar's Week 2 College Football Picks

Week 2 College Football Picks

Buffalo +20 @ Penn State

Here’s a real barn burner for the fans.  The Nittany Lions look to bounce back after an embarrassing loss to Temple last week.  Let’s get some facts straight here before people go all ape shit, Temple is not a good football team compared to what Penn State will face in the B1G this season.  That loss was turrible. Do I think Penn State is going to lose? Absolutely not. But at the same time, I don’t think Penn State is going to “Sandusky” Buffalo. Too soon? I think Buffalo makes a game out of this and ends up losing by 2 TD’s.  

Western Michigan University -4 @ Georgia Southern

This pick is entirely based on what I saw from WMU last week against the Spartans.  They looked a lot better than I imagined.  Take into consideration that they were up against one of the best defenses in the nation (if not THE best) and managed to put up 24 points, well you get the picture.  Their offense is explosive with big play capabilities.  Two weeks from this Saturday WMU heads to the Horseshoe in Columbus to take on the Ohio State Buckeyes.  Basically, the pressure is on the Bronco’s right now.  They started off their season with an almost guaranteed loss and have another guaranteed loss in 2 weeks.  They gotta win some gamez here.

Notre Dame -12.5 @ Virginia

The Fighting Irish had their way with the Longhorns last weekend, crushing them 38-3.  UT’s offense was nonexistent to say the least.  Virginia shouldn’t pose much more of a challenge for Notre Dame as they look to open up their season 2-0.

Oregon State @ Michigan -15

Have you ever been to a season home opener at the Big House? Me either.  But I imagine 110,000 intoxicated screaming people make for an alright atmosphere.  Just kidding, it’s going to be fucking insane at the Big House this weekend.  This is Harbaugh’s first game back in the Big House since his last year as starting qb for the Wolverines in 1986.  This is a guy who was raised around Bo Schembechler (his dad worked for him) and played for Bo.  Now he has Bo’s old job.  It is not a far stretch to suggest Jim Harbaugh is who he is today largely in part because of Bo.  Let’s get back to this game though.  Harbaugh’s team is going to be ready to go.  Michigan faces a fairly weak OSU team giving them the perfect opportunity to put on a show for the 110,000 fans in attendance.

Oklahoma -1.5 @ Tennessee - LOCK OF THE WEEK

Does anyone think Tennessee is going to win this game? I certainly do not. Want more reasons? subscribe to our super exclusive insider lock package!

Oregon @ Michigan State -3.5

Here’s the biggest match up of the weekend.  The speculation is that this game will turn into a shootout and people wonder if State can keep up if it comes to that.  Not only do I think Sparty can keep up, I think they can “out shoot” the Ducks this year.  However, I don’t think it will come to that.  The Spartan defense is going to be called upon this week and they will answer.  I think Sparty takes this one at home.

UCLA -30 @ UNLV

Typically I stay away from crazy lines like these but, UNLV is really bad.  They won 2 games last year.  UCLA could very easily run this score up real big on the road here.

Idaho @ USC -43

Rolling with another crazy ass line here.  I could lay out the numbers for you but do I really need to?  USC just beat Arkansas State 55-6.  This game should look pretty much the exact same.

Appalachian State @ Clemson -19

I flip flopped on this line a little bit to be honest.  Appalachian State seems like one of the bigger fish in the smaller pond.  Let’s talk about Clemson at home though.  Since 2013 Clemson has lost 1 game at home and it was to the eventual national champion, Florida State in 2013.  They are 13-1 at home since the beginning of the 2013 season.  What’s more impressive is their average margin of victory.  Clemson destroys teams at home.  They call their field Death Valley for a reason. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the 29.7 or 30 point average margin of victory Clemson has in their 13 home wins since the beginning of the 2013 season.  That is insane.  You do not want to play in Death Valley.  The numbers say Clemson will EASILY cover this spread. 

Weekend College Football

Weekend College Football Picks

Michigan State -17.5 @ Western Michigan

#5 Sparty is going to roll into Kalamazoo and lay waste to the Broncos.  The Spartans expect a playoff appearance out of themselves this season.  Tonight they begin that campaign.  WMU should keep it within a touchdown for the first half.  After that expect the Spartans to pile it on.

Baylor @ SMU +37

SMU getting 37 points? Yeah I’m going to take that all the way to the bank.  Baylor can go fuck themselves.  No way they beat SMU by 5 touchdowns.  

Arizona State +3.5 @ Texas A&M

ASU is primed for a big year.  Texas A&M hasn’t been relevant since Manziel left.  They had their 5 minutes of fame and now they’re fading out.  ASU has a chance to make the playoffs this year and a win over Texas A&M on the road would be big.

Wisconsin +12 @ Alabama

I have a feeling Wisconsin is going to surprise some people on Saturday night.  

NFL Week 12 Picks

CIN (+3) @ HOU

I don't like this pick at all, mainly based on the fact that I'm taking perennial under-performer Andy Dalton over the best defensive player in the league, JJ Watt. What do you think dalton was thinking about last night? You know he didn't get any sleep. He just sat there thinking about Watt plowing through his line like a mallard duck, over and over and over again. Somehow, the Texans Fitzpackian offense will suck so much that the Bengals will field goal there way to victory, leaving an angry Watt sulking on the sideline.

GB (-9) at MIN
Let's throw this out there: The Vikings are not a bad team to be on! I could easily go the other way here and bang out a Vikings +9 and feel  comfortable. All week we've heard that ARodge is the MVP of the league, the QB King and Mr. Long Dick Express (one of those is fake). So naturally that means he has to suck or get hurt or get suspended for sending lewd picks to Roger Goodell's daughter right before the game. Either way, if the Pack can avoid significant injuries here, there shouldn't be an issue covering. Hell, half the stadium will be pack fans anyways. Roll with the MVP until someone gets hurt.

Cleveland +3 @ Atlanta

Brian Hoyer and the Browns head into ATL to face a Falcons team that has become somewhat of a joke. The three ring circus they refer to as their offensive line is absolutely turrible. Matt Ryan gets his ass kicked week in and week out because his offensive line couldn't block a 7 year old girl. I think the Browns roll on the road. 

Tampa +5 @ Chicago 

Jay Cutz and Da Bears continue to provide quality reality television material with their pathetic play. This week their crashing season is going to hit rock bottom with a loss at home to the only team worse than them: Tampa. 

Slump Buster Sunday!

Liverpool (-1.5) vs Swansea City (L)

Since the NBA All-Star break, I have been on what one might describe as a slump. I have seemingly lost my ability to determine who will and will not cover spreads or even win games for that matter. So, like all savants or masters of their craft, I will attempt to remedy this with a method as old as organized religion. Slump busting is the tradition of banging the ugliest girl possible in order to extract oneself mired in a slump. Since I doubt any of our readers want to watch me banging the ugliest girl I can possibly find (unless you do? No, okay) I will instead pick the winner of the ugliest sports contest I can find. European soccer! Or as God called it once, "hell on earth." If Liverpool covers this spread, the curse will officially be lifted and I will be free to continue making my shitty NBA picks. If they don't, well Cthulhu is going to get a lot of sacrifices this month.